OUR COMMUNITY

T

here is anger simmering in our 
community: anger in the schools, 
on the roads, in the way strang-
ers react to each other with hostility, 
anger about differing viewpoints on 
everything from politics to child-rearing 
choices. What do we do if we want to 
make a difference, if we want to nudge 
the needle back to a kinder, gentler way 
of interacting with each other?
If you have felt powerless and baffled, 
both by the intensity of anger in the air 
and by a lack of tools that might help 
us make a difference, you will want to 
join this year’s Fall Focus discussion, 
presented by the National Council for 
Jewish Women, Michigan at 7 p.m. 
Tuesday, Nov. 14, at Temple Israel. The 
event, which has a panel discussion for-
mat, is titled “Radical Civility: Fostering 
Connection in a Combative World.”

This discussion is novel in that it 
fully focuses on the solutions that we, as 
individuals, can bring to our daily lives 
so that we can defuse angry interactions 
and find points of connection. 
“There is so much animosity that’s 
infiltrated the way people with differing 
viewpoints address each other … We’re 
excited to present a forum in which this 
can be discussed and where actual solu-
tions will be offered to help attendees 
change the energy and temperament of 
everyday dialogue,” says Melissa Kahn, 
who, along with Cindy Babcock, will be 
chairing the event.
One of the speakers, Dr. Pontus 
Leander, director of the Center for 
Peace and Conflict Studies at Wayne 
State University, explained 
why he felt compelled to 
participate. “My family fled 
Europe in the 1940s, and my 
mother was adopted away to 
a Swedish family. To think 
that one of their descendants 
can speak to civility in the 
modern era, where the same 
forces are creeping up, is deeply and 

personally meaningful.”
Dr. Leander will be joined by edu-
cator and conflict resolution theorist 
Barbara Flayer, who will be referring to 
her dissertation on “Conflict 
Resolution in 3- and 4-Year-
Olds,” as some of the tech-
niques she developed are 
applicable to all ages. 
Her approach begins at a 
specific baseline: to be “will-
ing to listen to each other 
and have a conversation is a 
learned skill.” 
Flayer’s work utilized tools 
she identified to help chil-
dren develop openness. “We 
don’t have to agree with a 
person’s point of view, but we 
do have to agree to listen and 
not personally attack that person. It is at 
least a starting point,” Flayer says.
The third panelist, Eva Murphy, is a 
sophomore at Bloomfield Hills High 
School. Murphy is a member of Jewish 
Student Alliance and an alumna of 
CISV (Children’s International Summer 
Village) where she and youth repre-

NCJW|MI’s Fall Focus 
event aims to make 
a difference.

‘Radical 
 Civility’

Dr. Pontus 
Leander

JN STAFF 

32 | OCTOBER 26 • 2023 J
N

Barbara 
Flayer

Eva 
Murphy

