4 | SEPTEMBER 14 • 2023 

T

he Ten Days of Awe 
are upon us. Rabbis 
are putting the fin-
ishing touches on what they 
hope will be 
“awe”- inspir-
ing sermons. 
I don’t envy 
them.
Whether 
a rabbi is 
leading off 
with a Rosh 
Hashanah 
sermon or batting clean-up 
with a Yom Kippur one, this 
is their Super Bowl. The 
pressure is on to be at the top 
of their game.
I recall even as a little boy 
how the anticipation grew in 
the congregation as the rabbi’s 
sermon drew near. I had to be on 
my best behavior as my parents 
hung on every word emanating 
from the bimah. 
That feeling has not waned 
over the decades. When a High 
Holiday sermon begins, I’m laser-
focused.
I view the sermon as the rabbi’s 
State of the Union Address. The 
car ride home from the service 
I liken to a “spin room” after a 
political debate, where we dissect 
and opine on the rabbi’s words of 
wisdom. The difference is we’ll 
walk away with something far 
better to ponder from our rabbis’ 
sermons than anything delivered 
during a political debate.
We are blessed with so many 
great clergy in our community, 
and I know they’ll deliver. I’m 
just glad I’m not in their shoes … 
or robe. But, hmmmmm, what if 
I were?
The Scene: Rabbi Alan 
Muskovitz rises and stands 
before his congregation. You can 

hear a murmur throughout the 
sanctuary as people comment on 
how well he looks for his age. He 
adjusts the microphone. Clears 
his throat. He begins … (Sermon 
edited for space.)
Dear friends, as we stand at 
the threshold of this new year, 
let us embrace the blessings that 
renewal brings. Let us approach 
this time of reflection with open 
hearts and open minds, ready 
to cast away old habits and 
embrace new opportunities. 
May we find the courage to 
seek forgiveness, to forgive and 
to repair the relationships that 
enrich our lives. And may we, 
through our sincere efforts, 
merit a year filled with health, 
happiness and spiritual growth.
As the shofar’s sound 
reverberates within these walls, 
let it also echo in the chambers 
of our hearts, serving as a 
clarion call to awaken us from 
complacency, reminding us of 
the beauty of life’s journey and 
the potential for transformation 
that resides within each of us. 
May this Rosh Hashanah be a 

stepping stone toward a year 
filled with blessings, love and 
purpose.
Shanah Tovah U’Metukah — 
a sweet and blessed New Year to 
you all … and let us say Amen. 
(The congregation rises 
and, for the first time in this 
synagogue’s history, gives Rabbi 
Muskovitz a 15-minute standing 
ovation. Hey, a fake rabbi can 
dream, can’t he?)
So, not too shabby, huh? Well, I 
can’t take credit for one … single 
… word. 
You know those words of 
inspiration I imparted upon you, 
my loyal pretend congregants? 
They are the product of 
Artificial Intelligence. Yep, and 
they appeared before me on 
my computer screen in less 
than 10 seconds after only a 
few keystrokes in ChatGPT. I 
experimented with this newest 
processing technology to see 
if it could make me even more 
smarter.
I downloaded ChatGPT and 
typed in a request for a Rosh 
Hashanah sermon. Literally, 

in less time than it would 
take to put on my tallit, it 
provided several “original” 
High Holiday sermons to 
pick from. No plagiarizing, 
no fuss, no muss and … no 
satisfaction.
Whether I’m writing my 
monthly column or a feature 
story for the JN, nothing 
can replace the gratification 
I receive from the challenge 
I face putting together the 
puzzle pieces of words that 
form my stories. It’s a journey, 
which sometimes turns into 
days of rethinking, recreating 
and rewriting that I wouldn’t 
trade for an easier way.
Reliance on today’s 
technology is a double-edged 
sword. Google searches dazzle 
me with their access to instant 
information. Texting helps us 
cut to the chase when we need a 
quick answer.
However, now texting LOL 
has usurped the joy of hearing 
someone on the other end of a 
phone call actually “laughing 
out loud.” We’re in such a hurry 
that I now receive a singular “K” 
in a text instead of an “okay” 
or “THX” instead of “thanks” 
because, I mean, really, who 
has the time to type three more 
letters to complete whole words?
Artificial Intelligence, oh, 
excuse me “AI,” (sorry for wasting 
so much space) is the hottest 
thing going, but we’ve been 
artificially communicating for a 
while now. 
Amazon’s “Alexa” has become 
an additional member of our 
household. I can now talk into 
my television remote and tell 
it what channel I want. (I was 
already a couch potato, now my 
fingers are no longer getting 

for openers

My Non-Artificial Wish for the New Year

Alan 
Muskovitz 
Contributing 
Writer

PURELY COMMENTARY

continued on page 8

Shanah 
Shanah 
 tovah!
 tovah!

