JULY 20 • 2023 | 33

a plate with a bagel, already shmeared, and 
a round pastry or cookie. The same foods 
I’ve served to other mourners at shivahs 
over the years.
Jewish culinary traditions connect sym-
bolic dishes and customs to help us with 
our grief, whether it’s personal or public. 
Meals of condolence are served by others 
as part of the healing process, a custom 
that is centuries old.
Tisha b’
Av is the scheduled yahrzeit for 
our shared losses as a community. For 
some, the mourning begins three weeks 
beforehand, on the 17th day of the month 
of Tammuz. This time is called “Bayn Ha 
Metsarim,” and observers abstain from 
alcohol, eating meat or attending joyous 
celebrations, such as weddings. 

CULINARY CUSTOMS
On Tisha b’
Av, meat restrictions carry over 
through to the following day to reflect how 
long the temple continued to burn after its 
destruction. For this reason, we typically 
see dairy and vegetarian dishes when we 
break this fast. 
The evening before the Tisha b’
Av fast 
begins with a separation meal, or Seudah 
Hamafske, which is used to define the time 
between eating and fasting. The separation 
meal includes traditional Jewish bereave-
ment foods, which are determined by a 
round shape. 
According to Haaretz.com, round foods 
without any breaks are thought to resem-
ble the full cycle of life. Either at a shivah 
or on Tisha b’
Av, you’ll find hard-boiled 
eggs, round pastries, lentils and bagels, 
also thought of as Jewish comfort foods.
Myjewishlearning.com offers that the 
hardening of the egg through cooking 
represents our need to stiffen and steady 
ourselves when a death occurs. The fact 
that it remains fully sealed within the shell 
reminds us to stay solitary, undistracted 
from our grief. 
Lentils are also significant because, 
unlike other legumes, they have no eye, 
which symbolizes that the person can no 
longer see or be seen. Without a mouth 
either, they remind mourners to not speak 
in a state of deep sorrow. 
In most Middle Eastern communities, 
dishes of lentils and rice or bulgur, like 
mujadara, have become associated with 

mourning, according to Aish.com. They 
also serve a ring-shaped pita, called 
ka’ak, which is sprinkled with sesame 
seeds.
The Egyptian Jewish community 
prepares a dish called Kishari, a layered 
lentil and rice dish, with noodles, fava 
beans and chickpeas, covered with 
tomato sauce. Families in Yemen offer 
guests a bowl of soup, and Bukharin 
Jews are known to serve a full meal that 
includes dessert.
While bagels remain iconic in the 
United States, in Israel, Turkish empana-
da-style pastries called bourekas and 
rugelach replace them. Ashkenazi Jews 
in Israel eat beigalehs, which are a crust-
ier-style bagel. Sephardic communities 
pass an unsliced challah between guests, 
pulling off a piece for one other. The 
idea is that mourners won’t need to 
serve themselves. 
In the U.S., we commonly offer peeled, 
hard-boiled eggs; but egg presentations 
can vary from country to country. For 
example, in Spain, they are slow-cooked 
overnight for a dish called Huevos 
Haminados. In Persia, frittatas are served 
with fresh herbs to symbolize renewal. 
The Ashkenazi custom is to eat in a per-
sonal space while in mourning, seated low 
to the ground. This is also done at the sep-
aration meal before Tisha b’
Av. Mourners 
eat separately to avoid the festive atmo-
sphere when eating in large groups. 
Conversely, Sephardic families choose to 
eat with their guests. 
The late food historian Gil Marks 
explained that there are no tradition-
al dishes for Tisha b’
Av in his book 
Encyclopedia of Jewish Food. However, 
foods of mourning are commonly served. 
But even without an official dish, foods 
still play a central role in our mourning 
traditions, even in restraint.
What we eat and whom we eat with 
may be different around the globe, but the 
intention of a condolence meal has stayed 
in place since the biblical era. Eating 
simple, unfussy and easy-to-digest foods 
sustains us, so we can focus on the depth 
of our grief. 
Whether it’s for a personal loss, such as 
a parent or memorializing our ancestors 
during Tisha b’
Av, Jewish foods support us 

in our time of sorrow. They help to bring 
us through the grief process full circle and 
into a place of healing. I know that for me, 
they will be a great comfort as I remember 
my father. 

MUJADARA
Adapted from thekitchn.com
Ingredients

1 cup small green lentils, such as Spanish 

Pardena or French Le Puy

I cup long grain white rice 

3½ cups water, divided, plus more for rinsing

1 tsp. kosher salt, divided plus more for sea-

soning

2 large yellow onions, chopped

¼ cup neutral oil, such as safflower, grapeseed 

or canola

½ tsp. ground cumin

Fresh ground pepper

Garnish: Arugula, yogurt and olive oil
 
Directions
Sort and rinse the lentils, discarding 
any broken or discolored ones, until 
the water runs clear. Drain and place 
in a small bowl. Rinse the white rice 
in the strainer under cool water until it 
runs clear, a few minutes. Drain well. 
Bring the lentils with 2 cups of water 
and ½ tsp. of the salt to a boil in a 
small saucepan. Reduce the heat and 
simmer to par-cook the lentils so they 

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