JULY 20 • 2023 | 33
a plate with a bagel, already shmeared, and
a round pastry or cookie. The same foods
I’ve served to other mourners at shivahs
over the years.
Jewish culinary traditions connect sym-
bolic dishes and customs to help us with
our grief, whether it’s personal or public.
Meals of condolence are served by others
as part of the healing process, a custom
that is centuries old.
Tisha b’
Av is the scheduled yahrzeit for
our shared losses as a community. For
some, the mourning begins three weeks
beforehand, on the 17th day of the month
of Tammuz. This time is called “Bayn Ha
Metsarim,” and observers abstain from
alcohol, eating meat or attending joyous
celebrations, such as weddings.
CULINARY CUSTOMS
On Tisha b’
Av, meat restrictions carry over
through to the following day to reflect how
long the temple continued to burn after its
destruction. For this reason, we typically
see dairy and vegetarian dishes when we
break this fast.
The evening before the Tisha b’
Av fast
begins with a separation meal, or Seudah
Hamafske, which is used to define the time
between eating and fasting. The separation
meal includes traditional Jewish bereave-
ment foods, which are determined by a
round shape.
According to Haaretz.com, round foods
without any breaks are thought to resem-
ble the full cycle of life. Either at a shivah
or on Tisha b’
Av, you’ll find hard-boiled
eggs, round pastries, lentils and bagels,
also thought of as Jewish comfort foods.
Myjewishlearning.com offers that the
hardening of the egg through cooking
represents our need to stiffen and steady
ourselves when a death occurs. The fact
that it remains fully sealed within the shell
reminds us to stay solitary, undistracted
from our grief.
Lentils are also significant because,
unlike other legumes, they have no eye,
which symbolizes that the person can no
longer see or be seen. Without a mouth
either, they remind mourners to not speak
in a state of deep sorrow.
In most Middle Eastern communities,
dishes of lentils and rice or bulgur, like
mujadara, have become associated with
mourning, according to Aish.com. They
also serve a ring-shaped pita, called
ka’ak, which is sprinkled with sesame
seeds.
The Egyptian Jewish community
prepares a dish called Kishari, a layered
lentil and rice dish, with noodles, fava
beans and chickpeas, covered with
tomato sauce. Families in Yemen offer
guests a bowl of soup, and Bukharin
Jews are known to serve a full meal that
includes dessert.
While bagels remain iconic in the
United States, in Israel, Turkish empana-
da-style pastries called bourekas and
rugelach replace them. Ashkenazi Jews
in Israel eat beigalehs, which are a crust-
ier-style bagel. Sephardic communities
pass an unsliced challah between guests,
pulling off a piece for one other. The
idea is that mourners won’t need to
serve themselves.
In the U.S., we commonly offer peeled,
hard-boiled eggs; but egg presentations
can vary from country to country. For
example, in Spain, they are slow-cooked
overnight for a dish called Huevos
Haminados. In Persia, frittatas are served
with fresh herbs to symbolize renewal.
The Ashkenazi custom is to eat in a per-
sonal space while in mourning, seated low
to the ground. This is also done at the sep-
aration meal before Tisha b’
Av. Mourners
eat separately to avoid the festive atmo-
sphere when eating in large groups.
Conversely, Sephardic families choose to
eat with their guests.
The late food historian Gil Marks
explained that there are no tradition-
al dishes for Tisha b’
Av in his book
Encyclopedia of Jewish Food. However,
foods of mourning are commonly served.
But even without an official dish, foods
still play a central role in our mourning
traditions, even in restraint.
What we eat and whom we eat with
may be different around the globe, but the
intention of a condolence meal has stayed
in place since the biblical era. Eating
simple, unfussy and easy-to-digest foods
sustains us, so we can focus on the depth
of our grief.
Whether it’s for a personal loss, such as
a parent or memorializing our ancestors
during Tisha b’
Av, Jewish foods support us
in our time of sorrow. They help to bring
us through the grief process full circle and
into a place of healing. I know that for me,
they will be a great comfort as I remember
my father.
MUJADARA
Adapted from thekitchn.com
Ingredients
1 cup small green lentils, such as Spanish
Pardena or French Le Puy
I cup long grain white rice
3½ cups water, divided, plus more for rinsing
1 tsp. kosher salt, divided plus more for sea-
soning
2 large yellow onions, chopped
¼ cup neutral oil, such as safflower, grapeseed
or canola
½ tsp. ground cumin
Fresh ground pepper
Garnish: Arugula, yogurt and olive oil
Directions
Sort and rinse the lentils, discarding
any broken or discolored ones, until
the water runs clear. Drain and place
in a small bowl. Rinse the white rice
in the strainer under cool water until it
runs clear, a few minutes. Drain well.
Bring the lentils with 2 cups of water
and ½ tsp. of the salt to a boil in a
small saucepan. Reduce the heat and
simmer to par-cook the lentils so they
continued on page 34