48 | JUNE 22 • 2023 

I

t’s so heartwarming when someone 
recovers from a debilitating condition and 
wants to help others who are experiencing 
the same struggle. Rachel S.* (all names are 
changed) battled an eating disorder that took 
over her life and is eager to share her person-
al journey and the lessons she has learned 
with those struggling — and their parents.
Rachel’s troubles began in the fourth 
grade, when she deliberately stopped eating 
lunch in school. 
“It was a coping mechanism for stress,
” 
said Rachel, whose home life was tough. 
“But I didn’t know what was wrong with 
me.
”
Her parents and pediatrician assumed it 
was a phase and brushed it off, but symp-
toms only worsened over time.
Soon she had a full-blown undiagnosed 
eating disorder. Even at that young age, 
Rachel frequently studied herself intently in 
the full-length mirror in her bedroom, exer-
cised excessively and could count her ribs. 
“I led a whole secret life that haunted me,
” 
Rachel said. She also suffered from insomnia 
from early childhood, which affected her 
grades and social life. “I didn’t recognize 
who I was.
”
Therapy was not suggested until she was 
older. 
“Everything was very hush-hush at the 
time,
” Rachel said. 
Things limped along until she was in high 

school, by which point she was starving her-
self and struggling severely. 
“By then I knew I had an eating disor-
der — and I also knew my parents were 
ashamed of it. I felt like I was dying every 
day,
” she said. 
The fact that everyone seemed too scared 
to broach the issue made Rachel feel even 
worse. 
One teacher changed that lonely course 
by simply asking her, “You don’t eat? Do you 
mind if we talk about that?”
“I’
d never been asked before,
” said Rachel, 
who still gets emotional when she remem-
bers that moment. “It was like a breath of 
fresh air. I felt loved. Seen. I told her, ‘I need 
help.
’ I opened up.
”
That was the turning point. 

THE ROAD TO RECOVERY
Rachel started seeing a therapist who spe-
cializes in eating disorders and, until this 
day, credits that therapist with saving her 
life. At that point, her 4’10 frame weighed 80 
pounds. 
“When I was first evaluated at the hospi-
tal, I saw mouths drop and eyes pop when I 
was weighed. I was emaciated,
” said Rachel, 
who was diagnosed with “severe restrictive 
anorexia subtype purging.
”
Years later, while still on the rocky journey 
toward healing, Rachel met her future hus-
band and shared her struggles. 

“Natan told me, ‘We all have our dark 
sides.
’ He said it so lovingly, I knew he’
d have 
my back. It made me feel safe and want to be 
healthy,
” Rachel said. 
She had long dreamed of being a mother 
and worried the trauma of her eating disor-
der on her body would stop her dream from 
being fulfilled. Fortunately, miraculously, 
Rachel now has three daughters who attend 
Yeshiva Beth Yehudah. She credits them with 
being the inspiration for her to stay healthy. 
“My kids are my tickets to life, my biggest 
gift,
” she said. 
Postpartum depression was also a strug-
gle for Rachel. After her second child was 
born, her eating disorder reared its ugly head 
again and she found herself in a treatment 
center in Seattle for five months. When she 
returned home, her baby didn’t recognize 
her. Rachel was devastated. 
“That’s when I really internalized that I 
need to choose to be healthy for the sake of 
my children,
” she said. 
Rachel focused all her energy, her entire 
life, on getting better and staying well and is 
proud that she has been healthy for five years 
although she still has some lingering health 
issues caused by 25 years of struggling with 
an eating disorder. 
“I worked really hard at therapy, until I 
was completely sick of being sick. I had to 
dig down deep until I discovered myself 
again… I hit rock bottom,
” said Rachel. “My 
eating disorder is always at the door, but I’m 
never opening that door again.
”
Since Rachel is so open about her strug-
gles, she’s often contacted when people are 
experiencing troubles or are worried about 
their kid’s eating habits and is eager to share 
her personal experiences and suggestions. 
Rachel also has tips for prevention. “Don’t 
tell kids to eat. Don’t be a hawk around 
food. Let them know to trust their bodies 
when they’re young, hear their own voices. If 
they’re hungry, they’ll eat. Always have food 
choices available … And never ever body 
shame … Don’t even draw attention to their 
bodies.
” 
Rachel remembers that mirror in her bed-
room and strongly warns against them. 
Most of all, Rachel says that open com-
munication is key. “Talk to your kids. Hug 
them. Love them.
” 

To contact Rachel, call, text or WhatsApp (860) 874-7978.

Back from the Brink

HEALTH

A survivor shares her eating disorder story.

ROCHEL BURSTYN CONTRIBUTING WRITER

