46 | APRIL 27 • 2023 

Boulder, Colorado / JTA
L

ike many Jewish teens, Ash 
Brave was nervous for their b’nai 
mitzvah. Memorizing the Torah 
portion, sending invitations, planning 
a party: It’s a lot for a 13-year-old to 
think about during what can already be 
an anxiety-filled age. 
Despite the typical stress involved 
with preparing to enter the adult Jewish 
community, Brave cheerfully described 
their gender-neutral b’nai mitzvah 
last summer, recalling feeling “really 
supported [by] the whole synagogue.” 
For teens like Brave, an eighth-grader 
from Boulder, Colorado, who uses he 
and they pronouns interchangeably, 
gender-inclusive b’nai mitzvahs 

(often termed “b’mitzvahs”) offer an 
opportunity to come of age as their full 
selves. 
Across the country, there is an 
expanding list of Jewish community 
centers, day schools, Hillels, 
organizations and more that include 
and celebrate LGBTQ+ identities. Many 
synagogues are following suit with the 
ceremonies they offer and the language 
they use. Some congregations are 
initiating these changes on their own; 
in other cases, the teens themselves are 
propelling the shifts. 
Traditionally, most synagogues 
hold gendered b’nai mitzvah, with bar 
mitzvahs for boys and bat mitzvahs 
for girls (“b’nai” is the Hebrew plural 

form meanings “sons and daughters,” 
although it is technically masculine). 
Increasingly, many Jewish congregations 
are moving toward gender-inclusive 
b’nai mitzvah ceremonies. Synagogues 
like Har Hashem, a Reform synagogue 
in Boulder, have been offering these 
ceremonies for years at the request of 
their congregants. Because of these 
shifts, many gender nonconforming 
Jewish teens feel a deeper sense 
of belonging in their religious 
communities. 
According to Rabbi Fred Greene 
of Har Hashem, the synagogue holds 
approximately 25 b’nai mitzvah 
ceremonies annually. In the last year, 
three of those were gender-neutral. 

‘I wanted to be more me,’ some teens say.
Gender-Neutral 
 Mitzvah Ceremonies

SHIRA NATHAN JTA.ORG

Ash Brave, who uses he/they 
pronouns, reads his Torah 
portion during his ceremony 
in the summer of 2022. 

COURTESY OF ASH BRAVE

