38 | APRIL 27 • 2023
On one occasion, the family had planned
to drive to Cincinnati together. Bayla was
going to take Dovid to his doctor there,
while Sruly was going to fly with Zevy to
a family wedding in New York. But there
was a huge snowstorm, the flight was can-
celed, and Sruly and Zevy were stuck in
Cincinnati.
“It was during Zevy’s winter break,
”
explained Bayla, who is extremely sensitive
to her older son and the often-overlooked
role of a sibling with special needs. “We
didn’t want Zevy to just tag along with us
to Dovid’s appointments; that’s not fair. On
a whim, we decided to randomly drive to
Kentucky … It was great! One of our best
family vacations ever!”
After three years of ups and downs with
Dovid, including multiple stressful hospital
stays, Sruly and Bayla realized that their sec-
ond son’s upsherin should not be a typical
affair.
CELEBRATING THE
MIRACLE OF DOVID
“We wanted to celebrate the life that Dovid
has lived so far, and the miracle that he is …
He really is a miracle! I hope one day when
he is cognitively able, he’ll look back at these
pictures and see this early celebration of
who he is and what he’s becoming,
” Bayla
said.
Originally the plan was to make a seudat
hodaah (literally, a meal of thanksgiving)
but Dovid had been in and out of the hospi-
tal all winter and they weren’t sure he’
d even
be there. In the end, the Bermans decided to
hold a family-only celebration.
“We had a weekend surrounded by peo-
ple who love us and who love him, who sup-
port us constantly. We wanted to celebrate
them for celebrating Dovid,
” Bayla said.
Bayla’s parents, Michael and Bracha
Hochheiser of Oak Park, were present, as
were Bayla’s five older siblings, their spouses
and kids, some of whom flew in from New
York, New Jersey and Cleveland. Sruly’s par-
ents, Eli and Esti Berman of Brooklyn, were
there, as well as his grandfather Shmuel
Goldstein of Brooklyn and Sruly’s siblings,
who also flew in from New York and New
Jersey for the long weekend.
The extended family ate Shabbat meals
catered by Quality Kosher Catering together
at Young Israel of Oak Park.
“It was very special,
” Bayla said. “It’s rare
to have both sides of the family present at a
calm simchah. Bar mitzvahs and weddings
are beautiful, but they’re so crazy busy
sometimes! This was nothing like that. We
were able to just sit, schmooze and enjoy
being together.
”
The actual upsherin took place on March
12. Even more family members flew in for
Sunday’s party, bringing the total to 70 out-
of-towners who had flown in to join the
Berman’s at this milestone event.
Lending a positive spin on life with a
child with special needs, the Berman’s chose
a circus theme for the party. Tzivia Bracha
Blumenfeld of Southfield was the party
planner, and she went all out to make this
party into something spectacular. Décor
was red and white, and a cotton candy
machine and popcorn machine added to
the fun. One of the best parts, according to
Zevy, was the cake. It showed an adorable
elephant and tiger peeking out from under
a red-and-white striped circus tent, and was
supplied with love by Dovid’s grandfather,
Eli Berman, who owns Strauss Bakery in
Boro Park. Cookies printed with “Dovid’s
Upsherin” were designed to look like circus
admission tickets and tzizit.
Photographer Anna Frenkel of Frenkel
Films was hired to capture the beautiful
family shots, and she delivered. Simple joy-
ful music was provided from their phones.
To add spirituality to the fun, there was a
station for kids to color tzedakah boxes.
Sitting inside his wheelchair, the star
of the hour, Dovid, an NG tube threaded
through his nose, a relic from his latest hos-
pital stay after a tough winter, smiled for the
pictures and didn’t bat an eyelid as his hair
was cut by one family member after another.
Soon Dovid’s hair was completely cut and
styled; he is now no longer mistaken for a
girl!
For the Bermans, this upsherin celebra-
tion was a chance to enjoy their family and
express appreciation to them.
Bayla gave a speech. “I just thanked
everyone for being there, for always being
there. Especially Zevy, the amazing big
brother that he is. Having a special needs
kid affects the whole family and especially
the siblings, much more than we give
them credit for. This milestone, this party
wasn’t just about Dovid; it was about Zevy
as well.
”
continued from page 36
The Berman
family: Sruly,
Bayla, Zevy
and Dovid