42 | MARCH 30 • 2023 

And people who could read 
a little bit more would read a 
little bit longer.”
This year will be Seidman’s 
first seder since her mother’s 
passing, and she’s going to find 
a way to incorporate her mem-
ory as well, whether with can-
dles or an empty chair. “I think 
I’m going to light a candle for 
my mom and for those people 
who aren’t here anymore,” she 
says. “We’ll all make things she 
used to make, but they proba-
bly won’t taste the same.” 
Getting all kinds of people 
involved in Passover and the 
seder is a key element of the 
evening, says Rabbi Daniel 
Schwartz of Temple Shir Shalom 
in West Bloomfield. 
“Passover is about welcoming 
people to your table and mak-
ing sure they’re able to fulfill 
the mitzvahs of celebrating 
Passover,
” he says. “That extra 
thought of making sure people 
feel comfortable around your 
seder table, it goes a long way.
” 
In some cases, that means 
planning ahead, from choosing 
the right Haggadah to seeing if 
you have guests who might need 
a quieter style, a smaller table or 
a separate space available. 
Online resources make it pos-
sible to find English retellings, 
transliterations and translations 

so it’s easier for guests to follow 
along, he explains. “I think some 
parts of inclusion are making 
sure the language is accessible — 
making sure we don’t choose a 
Haggadah that only has Hebrew 
in it if most of the people 
around the table don’t read it.
” 
Being inclusive by language 
is something that Bri Budai 
of West Bloomfield has been 
working on for years. Growing 
up, her parents would read in 
Hebrew while the kids would 
read in English. Yet other guests 
would use French copies of the 
Haggadah, she recalls. “Now 
we’re trying to incorporate 
this with our daughter, who’s 
3½ — introducing her to all the 
different languages we speak,
” 
she says. 
This year’s seder will be hap-
pening the first night in Hebrew 
and English at her parents’ 
house, and the second night in 
English at her brother-in-law’s. 
Seders with little kids can 
require some tweaking, too, she 
says. “If there are more younger 
kids in the family, like with my 
husband’s family, they do The 
Two-Minute Haggadah to make 
sure they can keep everybody’s 
attention and eat while every-
one’s still excited.
” Her family 
has Sephardic traditions to share 

as well. “I think we need to see 
who is at the seder and maybe 
adjust,
” she says. 

MAKING ALL 
COMFORTABLE
Using the senses is one way to 
make those kinds of adjust-
ments, Rabbi Schwartz explains, 
as participants see, taste, hear, 
smell and touch the different 
elements of the evening. “I think 
it was our ancestors’ ingenuity to 
be able to find different ways to 
be able to engage different types 
of learners around the table to 
tell our story,
” he says. “It’s about 
making sure everyone can feel 
welcome and present.
” 
Julie Zorn of West Bloom-
field is looking forward to 
the upcoming family seder. 
Whether it’s just close rela-
tives or a larger crowd with 
extended family, everyone will 
be ready to warmly welcome 
her and her husband, Stuart, as 
well as their sons Sean, 21, and 
Drew, 18. 
Because both their sons have 
autism, Zorn spent some of 
their earlier years talking with 
relatives about what would 
be helpful to make them feel 
comfortable on the holiday. 
These days, she says, it’s just 
part of the routine. 

“We’re very fortunate that 
way,” she says of her supportive 
family network, which helps 
make sure everyone’s included 
in the holiday celebration. 
“My sons both like to eat. 
They love their cousins — and 
their cousins are very sensitive 
and aware.
” Cousins, aunts and 
uncles invite Sean and Drew to 
come play, she says, and make 
sure to ask if they want more 
food. “The family makes it fun,
” 
Zorn explains.
Another way to create an 
inclusive space is by having 
grape juice on the table for 
the four cups, says Rabbi 
Benny Greenwald, director 
of Daniel B. Sobel Friendship 
House in West Bloomfield. 
“You never know who’s 
there who will feel more 
comfortable with that,” he 
says. Friendship House helps 
community members with 
addictions find recovery and 
can help people find sober 
seders. 
Passover is an especially 
powerful holiday for people 
in recovery from addiction, 
he explains, as it embodies 
the idea of leaving certain 
trappings behind. And par-
ticipating in a seder gives all 
those in attendance a chance 

PASSOVER

continued from page 41

The Zorn boys, 
Drew (third from 
left on couch) 
and Sean (third 
from right), enjoy 
spending holidays 
with their cousins. 

ZORN FAMILIY

Bri Budai 
remembers her 
parents’ (Victoria 
and Bob Keslacy) 
Passover table 
where a mix of 
languages was 
spoken. Her family 
carries on the 
tradition.

