42 | MARCH 30 • 2023
And people who could read
a little bit more would read a
little bit longer.”
This year will be Seidman’s
first seder since her mother’s
passing, and she’s going to find
a way to incorporate her mem-
ory as well, whether with can-
dles or an empty chair. “I think
I’m going to light a candle for
my mom and for those people
who aren’t here anymore,” she
says. “We’ll all make things she
used to make, but they proba-
bly won’t taste the same.”
Getting all kinds of people
involved in Passover and the
seder is a key element of the
evening, says Rabbi Daniel
Schwartz of Temple Shir Shalom
in West Bloomfield.
“Passover is about welcoming
people to your table and mak-
ing sure they’re able to fulfill
the mitzvahs of celebrating
Passover,
” he says. “That extra
thought of making sure people
feel comfortable around your
seder table, it goes a long way.
”
In some cases, that means
planning ahead, from choosing
the right Haggadah to seeing if
you have guests who might need
a quieter style, a smaller table or
a separate space available.
Online resources make it pos-
sible to find English retellings,
transliterations and translations
so it’s easier for guests to follow
along, he explains. “I think some
parts of inclusion are making
sure the language is accessible —
making sure we don’t choose a
Haggadah that only has Hebrew
in it if most of the people
around the table don’t read it.
”
Being inclusive by language
is something that Bri Budai
of West Bloomfield has been
working on for years. Growing
up, her parents would read in
Hebrew while the kids would
read in English. Yet other guests
would use French copies of the
Haggadah, she recalls. “Now
we’re trying to incorporate
this with our daughter, who’s
3½ — introducing her to all the
different languages we speak,
”
she says.
This year’s seder will be hap-
pening the first night in Hebrew
and English at her parents’
house, and the second night in
English at her brother-in-law’s.
Seders with little kids can
require some tweaking, too, she
says. “If there are more younger
kids in the family, like with my
husband’s family, they do The
Two-Minute Haggadah to make
sure they can keep everybody’s
attention and eat while every-
one’s still excited.
” Her family
has Sephardic traditions to share
as well. “I think we need to see
who is at the seder and maybe
adjust,
” she says.
MAKING ALL
COMFORTABLE
Using the senses is one way to
make those kinds of adjust-
ments, Rabbi Schwartz explains,
as participants see, taste, hear,
smell and touch the different
elements of the evening. “I think
it was our ancestors’ ingenuity to
be able to find different ways to
be able to engage different types
of learners around the table to
tell our story,
” he says. “It’s about
making sure everyone can feel
welcome and present.
”
Julie Zorn of West Bloom-
field is looking forward to
the upcoming family seder.
Whether it’s just close rela-
tives or a larger crowd with
extended family, everyone will
be ready to warmly welcome
her and her husband, Stuart, as
well as their sons Sean, 21, and
Drew, 18.
Because both their sons have
autism, Zorn spent some of
their earlier years talking with
relatives about what would
be helpful to make them feel
comfortable on the holiday.
These days, she says, it’s just
part of the routine.
“We’re very fortunate that
way,” she says of her supportive
family network, which helps
make sure everyone’s included
in the holiday celebration.
“My sons both like to eat.
They love their cousins — and
their cousins are very sensitive
and aware.
” Cousins, aunts and
uncles invite Sean and Drew to
come play, she says, and make
sure to ask if they want more
food. “The family makes it fun,
”
Zorn explains.
Another way to create an
inclusive space is by having
grape juice on the table for
the four cups, says Rabbi
Benny Greenwald, director
of Daniel B. Sobel Friendship
House in West Bloomfield.
“You never know who’s
there who will feel more
comfortable with that,” he
says. Friendship House helps
community members with
addictions find recovery and
can help people find sober
seders.
Passover is an especially
powerful holiday for people
in recovery from addiction,
he explains, as it embodies
the idea of leaving certain
trappings behind. And par-
ticipating in a seder gives all
those in attendance a chance
PASSOVER
continued from page 41
The Zorn boys,
Drew (third from
left on couch)
and Sean (third
from right), enjoy
spending holidays
with their cousins.
ZORN FAMILIY
Bri Budai
remembers her
parents’ (Victoria
and Bob Keslacy)
Passover table
where a mix of
languages was
spoken. Her family
carries on the
tradition.