14 | FEBRUARY 9 • 2023 

E

veryone has a “rock bot-
tom.” For Steve (only first 
names will be used in the 
story to maintain the anonymity 
of members), that was when he 
was called into a hospital room 
with a social worker and police 
officer after his wife had her 
second injury in a month. They 
asked Steve if he was abusing her. 
“It was the lowest moment of 
my life,
” Steve said. “I couldn’t 
believe that someone could think 
that of me. Even now, 18 years 
later, it’s beyond my comprehen-
sion.
”
For a while, he’
d felt that some-
thing was wrong but didn’t know 
what. “I’
d leave my nice wife in 
the morning and come home to 
someone else entirely. I thought 
she had some kind of mental or 
chemical imbalance,
” Steve said.
It was only when he opened 
his recycling bin to throw some-
thing in and saw 12 empty wine 
bottles that suddenly everything 
started to make sense. There was 
no denying it: His wife was an 
alcoholic. 
Desperate to help her, Steve 

called the well-known Alcoholics 
Anonymous (AA) program and 
told the person who answered all 
about his wife. 
“The person listened to me 
and then said, ‘You need to go 
to Al-Anon,
’” Steve said. He 
replied, “I’
d never heard of it 
before.
”
It turned out there was an 
Al-Anon meeting right outside 
his subdivision and, determined 
to cure his wife, off he went to 
check it out. 
The first meeting was frus-
trating. “I was looking for the 
answer. I wanted to fix her 
problem — I wasn’t there for me
… But they were talking about 
turning everything over to a 
Higher Power, saying that we’re 
powerless … Well, I didn’t want 
to hear that!” Steve said.
One guy told his story, which 
sounded just like Steve’s. 
“But what do I actually do?” 
Steve asked him.
“Take what you need and 
leave the rest,
” the guy answered. 
“Take my phone number … and 
come back next week.
”

Steve hasn’t missed a week 
since. 

WHAT IS AL-ANON?
To understand Al-Anon, first we 
need to understand Alcoholics 
Anonymous (AA), which is a 
fellowship of people who meet to 
help solve their drinking prob-
lem.
AA was started in 1935 by Bill 
W
., a New York stockbroker, and 
Dr. Bob S., an Akron surgeon, 
both alcoholics. As the addicts 
met and shared their struggles 
and triumphs with each other, 
their loved ones waited for them 
in their cars. Eventually, those 
loved ones began coming out of 
the cold and holding their own 
meetings to discuss their com-
mon problems. They realized 
they, too, could improve their 
lives by applying the spiritual 
principles of AA. 
Al-Anon Family Groups, 
formally founded in 1951, is 
an international organization 
for people who are impacted 
by another person’s alcoholism. 
Al-Anon is based on the same 

12 Steps of AA, a set of self-im-
provement techniques to aid 
recovery, and the 12 Traditions, 
the principles behind the steps 
to keep people focused. In 1957, 
Alateen (Al-Anon for teenagers) 
was created.
According to the al-anon.
org website, as of 2021, there 
were 24,000 Al-Anon groups 
and nearly 1,500 Alateen groups 
meeting regularly in 118 coun-
tries. 

FRIENDSHIP HOUSE 
Steve had been attending the 
popular Al-Anon meeting at the 
Methodist church in Farmington 
Hills, along with many other 
local Jews. In fact, one officially 
ran the group and liked to say 
that she was probably the only 
Jew with the keys to a church! 
As the group grew, a break-
away group was formed. They 
learned that the Daniel B. Sobel 
Friendship House would soon be 
available and, in 2005, Al-Anon 
was the first 12-step recovery 
group to start holding meetings 
there. 
Steve was asked to be the 
group representative. “I thought 
it would be for just a few 
months,
” laughed Steve, who 
has been the weekly presenter of 
the Wednesday night Al-Anon 
meetings ever since. Since 
COVID, this meeting has been a 
hybrid of Zoom and in-person.
The current “Friendship 
Rabbi” overseeing all its 
programs is Rabbi Benny 
Greenwald, who relocated to 
West Bloomfield from New York 
in 2015. 
Rabbi Benny said that while 
there is no such thing as a 
“Jewish Al-Anon group,
” most 
of the members who attend the 
meetings at Friendship House 
are Jewish.
“The 12-Step groups are not 
part of any sect, denomination 
or religion. The goal is to not 
be influenced by any outside 

OUR COMMUNITY

 Al-Anon:
A Support System

Family and friends of people with addiction 
have a place to go themselves to get help.

ROCHEL BURSTYN CONTRIBUTING WRITER

