FEBRUARY 9 • 2023 | 47

people to adultery, theft, false 
testimony and murder. 
Jews have especial reason 
to fear envy. It surely played 
a part in the existence of 
antisemitism throughout the 
centuries. Non-Jews envied 
Jews their ability to prosper 
in adversity — the strange 
phenomenon we noted in 
parshat Shemot that “the 
more they afflicted them 
the more they grew and the 
more they spread.” They also 
and especially envied them 
their sense of chosenness 
(despite the fact that virtually 
every other nation in history 
has seen itself as chosen). It 
is absolutely essential that 
we, as Jews, should conduct 
ourselves with an extra 
measure of humility and 
modesty.
So, the prohibition of envy 
is not odd at all. It is the most 
basic force undermining the 
social harmony and order 
that are the aim of the Ten 
Commandments as a whole. 
Not only, though, do they 
forbid it; they also help us rise 
above it. It is precisely the first 
three commands, reminding 
us of God’s presence in history 
and our lives, and the second 
three, reminding us of our 
createdness, that help us rise 
above envy.

THE ANTIDOTE TO ENVY
We are here because God 
wanted us to be. We have what 
God wanted us to have. Why 
then should we seek what 
others have? If what matters 
most in our lives is how we 
appear in the eyes of God, 
why should we want anything 
else merely because someone 
else has it? 
 It is when we stop defining 
ourselves in relation to God 
and start defining ourselves 
in relation to other people 

that competition, strife, cov-
etousness and envy enter our 
minds, and they lead only to 
unhappiness.
If your new car makes me 
envious, I may be motivated to 
buy a more expensive model 
that I never needed in the first 
place, which will give me sat-
isfaction for a few days until 
I discover another neighbor 
who has an even more costly 
vehicle, and so it goes. 
Should I succeed in satisfy-
ing my own envy, I will do so 
only at the cost of provoking 
yours, in a cycle of conspic-
uous consumption that has 
no natural end. Hence the 
bumper sticker: “He who has 
the most toys when he dies, 
wins.” The operative word 
here is “toys,” for this is the 
ethic of the kindergarten, and 
it should have no place in a 
mature life.
The antidote to envy is grat-
itude. “Who is rich?” asked 
Ben Zoma, and replied, “One 
who rejoices in what he has.” 
There is a beautiful Jewish 
practice that, done daily, is 
life-transforming. 
The first words we say 
on waking are Modeh ani 
lefanekha, “I thank you, living 
and eternal King.” We thank 
before we think.
Judaism is gratitude with 
attitude. Cured of letting other 
people’s happiness diminish 
our own, we release a wave of 
positive energy allowing us to 
celebrate what we have instead 
of thinking about what other 
people have, and to be what 
we are instead of wanting to 
be what we are not. 

The late Rabbi Lord Jonathan 

Sacks served as the chief rabbi of 

the United Hebrew Congregations of 

the Commonwealth, 1991-2013. His 

teachings have been made available 

to all at rabbisacks.org. This essay was 

written in 2016.

SPIRIT

Strength — and 
Seeking Help
I 

recently heard of a man 
who called his friend and 
asked: “Hey, do you want 
to go hunting tomorrow? I 
have the most amazing thing 
to show you!” “Sure,” 
said Tom. And the two 
men made plans to go 
hunting. After some 
time together in the 
marshland, the man 
shot a duck and sent 
his new hunting dog to 
fetch the bird. Instead 
of swimming, the dog 
ran across the top of 
the water to retrieve 
the bird. There was 
absolutely no reaction 
at all from Tom.
Surprised, the 
man shot another duck and 
again sent the dog. A second 
time, the dog walked across 
the water and brought back 
the bird. Still, there was no 
reaction from Tom. This 
continued for more than an 
hour until finally the man 
said: “Don’t you see anything 
unusual about my new dog?” 
“Yes, I do,” said Tom. “It seems 
that your dog can’t swim!”
Perspective — it’s all about 
how we see things. Sometimes 
the reality of a situation doesn’t 
matter at all because the bot-
tom line is how we perceive 
what is going on and how we 
see the world around us.
In this week’s Torah portion, 
Moses perceives himself as a 
strong and inspiring leader. 
But his father-in-law sees that 
Moses is struggling desper-
ately. As Yitro comes out to 
join the Israelite camp in the 
wilderness, he sees a long, 
endless line of people waiting 
to speak to Moses. They are 

bringing him their problems, 
concerns and disputes all day 
and all night.
Watching Moses over-
worked, overwhelmed and 
running the entire nation 
by himself, Yitro ques-
tions the stressed-out 
Moses: “Why do you act 
alone as the entire nation 
stands before you from 
morning until evening? 
What you are doing is not 
good. These people who 
come to you will only 
wear you out. The work 
is too heavy, and you 
cannot handle it alone.” 
(Exodus 18:17-18)
Thankfully, Yitro steps 
forward just in time to 
teach Moses a lesson that 
probably saved his life. This is 
the very same lesson that all of 
us need to learn and internal-
ize: namely, allowing our egos 
to ask others for help in situa-
tions when we are exhausted, 
lost or in trouble, be it a crisis, 
a sickness or a loss.
Perhaps the most com-
pelling argument that Yitro 
makes to Moses is that he is 
not serving the people well. 
He is actually hurting them 
while wearing himself down 
in the process. It is a hard and 
life-affirming lesson we, too, 
must learn. 
For when we refuse to allow 
others to help us when we are 
in need of assistance, we dam-
age ourselves and we alienate 
our loved ones. May this mes-
sage penetrate our souls the 
way it did for Moses! 

Rabbi Joseph H. Krakoff is the chief 

executive officer of the Jewish Hospice 

and Chaplaincy Network.

TORAH PORTION

Rabbi 
Joseph 
Krakoff

Parshat 

Yitro: 

Exodus 

18:1-20:23; 

Isaiah 

6:1-7:6, 9:5-6.

