FEBRUARY 9 • 2023 | 47
people to adultery, theft, false
testimony and murder.
Jews have especial reason
to fear envy. It surely played
a part in the existence of
antisemitism throughout the
centuries. Non-Jews envied
Jews their ability to prosper
in adversity — the strange
phenomenon we noted in
parshat Shemot that “the
more they afflicted them
the more they grew and the
more they spread.” They also
and especially envied them
their sense of chosenness
(despite the fact that virtually
every other nation in history
has seen itself as chosen). It
is absolutely essential that
we, as Jews, should conduct
ourselves with an extra
measure of humility and
modesty.
So, the prohibition of envy
is not odd at all. It is the most
basic force undermining the
social harmony and order
that are the aim of the Ten
Commandments as a whole.
Not only, though, do they
forbid it; they also help us rise
above it. It is precisely the first
three commands, reminding
us of God’s presence in history
and our lives, and the second
three, reminding us of our
createdness, that help us rise
above envy.
THE ANTIDOTE TO ENVY
We are here because God
wanted us to be. We have what
God wanted us to have. Why
then should we seek what
others have? If what matters
most in our lives is how we
appear in the eyes of God,
why should we want anything
else merely because someone
else has it?
It is when we stop defining
ourselves in relation to God
and start defining ourselves
in relation to other people
that competition, strife, cov-
etousness and envy enter our
minds, and they lead only to
unhappiness.
If your new car makes me
envious, I may be motivated to
buy a more expensive model
that I never needed in the first
place, which will give me sat-
isfaction for a few days until
I discover another neighbor
who has an even more costly
vehicle, and so it goes.
Should I succeed in satisfy-
ing my own envy, I will do so
only at the cost of provoking
yours, in a cycle of conspic-
uous consumption that has
no natural end. Hence the
bumper sticker: “He who has
the most toys when he dies,
wins.” The operative word
here is “toys,” for this is the
ethic of the kindergarten, and
it should have no place in a
mature life.
The antidote to envy is grat-
itude. “Who is rich?” asked
Ben Zoma, and replied, “One
who rejoices in what he has.”
There is a beautiful Jewish
practice that, done daily, is
life-transforming.
The first words we say
on waking are Modeh ani
lefanekha, “I thank you, living
and eternal King.” We thank
before we think.
Judaism is gratitude with
attitude. Cured of letting other
people’s happiness diminish
our own, we release a wave of
positive energy allowing us to
celebrate what we have instead
of thinking about what other
people have, and to be what
we are instead of wanting to
be what we are not.
The late Rabbi Lord Jonathan
Sacks served as the chief rabbi of
the United Hebrew Congregations of
the Commonwealth, 1991-2013. His
teachings have been made available
to all at rabbisacks.org. This essay was
written in 2016.
SPIRIT
Strength — and
Seeking Help
I
recently heard of a man
who called his friend and
asked: “Hey, do you want
to go hunting tomorrow? I
have the most amazing thing
to show you!” “Sure,”
said Tom. And the two
men made plans to go
hunting. After some
time together in the
marshland, the man
shot a duck and sent
his new hunting dog to
fetch the bird. Instead
of swimming, the dog
ran across the top of
the water to retrieve
the bird. There was
absolutely no reaction
at all from Tom.
Surprised, the
man shot another duck and
again sent the dog. A second
time, the dog walked across
the water and brought back
the bird. Still, there was no
reaction from Tom. This
continued for more than an
hour until finally the man
said: “Don’t you see anything
unusual about my new dog?”
“Yes, I do,” said Tom. “It seems
that your dog can’t swim!”
Perspective — it’s all about
how we see things. Sometimes
the reality of a situation doesn’t
matter at all because the bot-
tom line is how we perceive
what is going on and how we
see the world around us.
In this week’s Torah portion,
Moses perceives himself as a
strong and inspiring leader.
But his father-in-law sees that
Moses is struggling desper-
ately. As Yitro comes out to
join the Israelite camp in the
wilderness, he sees a long,
endless line of people waiting
to speak to Moses. They are
bringing him their problems,
concerns and disputes all day
and all night.
Watching Moses over-
worked, overwhelmed and
running the entire nation
by himself, Yitro ques-
tions the stressed-out
Moses: “Why do you act
alone as the entire nation
stands before you from
morning until evening?
What you are doing is not
good. These people who
come to you will only
wear you out. The work
is too heavy, and you
cannot handle it alone.”
(Exodus 18:17-18)
Thankfully, Yitro steps
forward just in time to
teach Moses a lesson that
probably saved his life. This is
the very same lesson that all of
us need to learn and internal-
ize: namely, allowing our egos
to ask others for help in situa-
tions when we are exhausted,
lost or in trouble, be it a crisis,
a sickness or a loss.
Perhaps the most com-
pelling argument that Yitro
makes to Moses is that he is
not serving the people well.
He is actually hurting them
while wearing himself down
in the process. It is a hard and
life-affirming lesson we, too,
must learn.
For when we refuse to allow
others to help us when we are
in need of assistance, we dam-
age ourselves and we alienate
our loved ones. May this mes-
sage penetrate our souls the
way it did for Moses!
Rabbi Joseph H. Krakoff is the chief
executive officer of the Jewish Hospice
and Chaplaincy Network.
TORAH PORTION
Rabbi
Joseph
Krakoff
Parshat
Yitro:
Exodus
18:1-20:23;
Isaiah
6:1-7:6, 9:5-6.