1942 - 2022
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DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
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6 | JANUARY 5 • 2023
PURELY COMMENTARY
I
have lived my entire life
attached to one Ethan
Weitzman. As a twin, I
spent much of my upbringing
being compared and contrast-
ed to him. How
we developed,
how we behaved
and how we
achieved. Ethan
may have taken
his first steps
before me, but I
was first to actu-
ally walk. He may have spoken
before me, but I was first to
construct a sentence.
Throughout our childhood
one thing eventually became
clear; I was the responsi-
ble one. My homework was
always done on time, my
reading finished, my to-do
list checked. Within our
small school community, my
responsibilities would often
include some of Ethan’s. I
often found myself attempting
to put order into his situation,
helping him to organize and
reminding him to do home-
work and study. I wanted to
support him anyway I could.
Unfortunately, I occasionally
resented how much I did for
him, and how rarely I felt like
I had made an impact. I cared
for him so much, yet I was
never recognized for my dedi-
cation, nor did I ever receive a
thank you.
One day, I discovered the
story of Cain and Abel. While
I had learned the story, I had
never read it directly from
Genesis. When I did, I stum-
bled upon the line “
Am I my
brother’s keeper?” (Genesis
4:9) I was immediately taken
aback. How could I have the
same feelings about responsi-
bility for my brother as Cain?
Cain who succumbed to his
jealousy and shamelessly mur-
dered his own brother? That’s
when I realized something; all
of these years I had been put-
ting in effort to try and sub-
due Ethan’s challenges, mostly
without thanks, but the same
had been done for me.
Ethan had looked out for
me for years in other ways,
without me ever recogniz-
ing it. Whenever I needed a
friend, Ethan was there. When
I was stressed, Ethan always
comforted and reassured me.
While I had been the respon-
sible one, Ethan had been the
compassionate one. I immedi-
ately scrubbed any resentment
from my attitude in under-
standing that what I did for
him is exactly what he would
have done for me had he been
the responsible one.
Eventually, I would have
another crisis about my rela-
tionship with Ethan. Was I
just a part of a whole? For a
period of time, I was greatly
upset about what my relation-
ship with my brother meant
for my identity. Was I nothing
without him? Was he nothing
without me?
That’s when Cain’s line came
back to me. I asked myself,
“
Am I my brother’s keeper?”
Yes. I was my brother’s keep-
er. But I was so many other
things as well. Being Ethan’s
brother was only a fragment
of my identity, and I would
refuse to let myself be limited
to that role. Undoubtedly, I
have only been enriched by
our relationship. After 17
years walking alongside my
brother, I know that I could
have navigated the world by
myself, but that I could not
have gotten this far without
him.
Evan Weitzman is a senior and the
All School President at Frankel Jewish
Academy.
student’s corner
An ‘Abel’ to My ‘Cain’
Evan
Weitzman