42 | JANUARY 5 • 2023 

J

udaism generally urges us to be 
agents, to be active rather than 
passive, to take responsibility for 
our lives and for the world. Rabbi Joseph 
Soloveitchik goes so far as to insist that 
“the peak of religious ethical perfection to 
which Judaism aspires is man as creator.” 
This means that we are often asked to use 
the power at our disposal both to better 
our lives and to achieve 
holy ends. 
But sometimes we are 
challenged to do just the 
opposite, to know when it 
is inappropriate to exer-
cise our power. Although 
Soloveitchik (rightly) 
emphasizes the dignity of 
action, it is often no less important to 
learn the dignity of restraint. 
Hurt and humiliated by her maidser-
vant Hagar, Sarah “oppresses” her (Genesis 
16:6). Although some traditional com-
mentators defend Sarah’s actions, others 
forcefully accuse her of sin and moral 
failure. Rabbi David Kimhi (known as 
Radak, 1160-1235) explains that Sarah’s 
failure lies in the fact that she exercises 
her capacity to afflict someone vulnera-
ble: “It is not appropriate,” he says, “for 
a person to do everything she can with 
what is under her power.” Radak cites the 
poet Solomon Ibn Gabirol: “How beau-
tiful is forgiveness at the moment one 
has power.” The terribly painful story of 
Sarah and Hagar is included in the Torah, 
Radak teaches, precisely so that we learn 
from Sarah’s mistakes. 
Joseph starts out following in Sarah’s 
path. At first, it seems, he really wants to 
make his brothers suffer. But over time, 
something shifts in him — and in them 
— and that makes possible one of the 
most moving and remarkable moments of 
transformation in the Torah. 
When we first hear of Joseph’s tortured 
relations with his brothers — of Jacob’s 
favoritism and of Joseph’s habit of bring-
ing bad reports about his brothers to his 
father — Genesis tells us that his brothers 
“could not speak a friendly word to him” 
(velo yachlu dabro leshalom) (Genesis 37:2-
4). Years later, when the brothers arrive in 
Egypt in search of food during a famine, 

Joseph, by now second-in-command to 
Pharaoh, recognizes them, although they 
do not recognize him. Right away, the text 
informs us that Joseph “spoke harshly to 
them” (vayedaber itam kashot) (42:7). Just 
as they, long ago, could not find a kind 
word for him, now he will not trouble 
himself to find one for them.
In what follows, Joseph appears to take 
revenge. Joseph’s brothers had followed 
Judah’s lead and sold him into slavery 
(37:26-28), unleashing the process that 
led to his imprisonment on false charges 
(39:17-20). Now, with his brothers in 
his sights, what does Joseph do? He 
falsely and repeatedly accuses them of 
being spies and confines them to the 
guardhouse (42:9-17). Just as Potiphar 
imprisoned Joseph for a crime he did not 
commit, so now he falsely imprisons his 
brothers.
There is a certain literary elegance to 
the next stage of Joseph’s treatment of his 
brothers. In that fateful moment when 
they had decided to finally rid themselves 
of him, Joseph’s brothers had sold him for 
money (37:28). Now, years later, Joseph 
orders his brothers’ bags filled with grain 
and provisions, but also with the very 

money they have used to pay for what 
they need (42:25). Bible scholar Matthew 
Schlimm notes: “Joseph’s brothers once 
sold him into slavery for financial gain. In 
an act of symmetrical retribution, Joseph 
strikes fear into their hearts by giving 
them silver that they do not deserve and 
should not rightfully possess.” Money 
had played a key role when they hurt 
him; now money serves as his method of 
revenge.
And Joseph is still not done. Once, 
his brothers had sold him for “20 piec-
es of silver” (37:28). On their next visit 
to Egypt, Joseph further confounds his 
brothers, setting (one of) them up again: 
Joseph commands his steward to place his 
silver divination cup in Benjamin’s bag 
and then has him exposed as a thief (44:1-
13). The repeated invocation of silver is 
revealing: Joseph had already tormented 
his brothers by surreptitiously returning 
their silver to them (42:25,28,35), and 
now he furtively plants his silver cup with 
his younger brother (44:2). Bible scholar 
Thomas Broadie astutely explains that 
“the silver is the symbol of the still-un-
resolved betrayal,” and comments: “Ever 
since [that betrayal], the silver seems to 

The Majesty 
of Restraint

Rabbi Shai 
Held

SPIRIT
A WORD OF TORAH

