6 | DECEMBER 22 • 2022
1942 - 2022
Covering and Connecting
Jewish Detroit Every Week
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student’s corner
Finding My Connection to Judaism
B
efore I could compre-
hend my own existence,
I was told there was
another being, a non-human
being, that was responsible for
every aspect of
my life. This idea
of Judaism and
God has been
instilled in me
for as long as I
can remember. I
never had a rea-
son to question
anything I was being taught
because I had never seen any-
one around me do it, so why
would I?
I grew up immersed in
the ideas of Judaism. Jewish
preschool, Jewish camp, Jewish
day school; every religious
thought I had ever conjured
had been influenced by so
many differing perspectives. It
was not until my freshman year
of high school that I began to
comprehend Judaism through
my own perspective. My whole
life I thought I had to have
the same opinions regarding
Judaism as my teachers and
rabbis did. I had never thought
to start analyzing everything I
knew in a new way to help me
connect more to my religion
that was not as strongly
centered around biblical
storytelling in the Torah.
Every year at Yom Kippur
services is when I feel I could
see my own perspectives in
Judaism the most. Since I
was 13, I’ve read a portion
of the Torah at Yom Kippur
services every year at Adat
Shalom Synagogue in front
of hundreds of people. While
the congregants are looking to
gain a religious experience, I
was so focused on not messing
up that I failed to connect
to the meaning behind my
actions. Part of this was because
the idea of messing up felt
uncomfortable and slightly
disrespectful.
The other reason is that
reading from the Torah
has always been a religious
experience that I struggled to
connect with. From the first
time I learned how to read
Torah in fifth grade till now,
I do not think I was able to
connect to the experience the
way many others do. I have
been learning different parts
of the Torah in school since
I was very young, but it was
always hard for me to apply
those lessons to my current life,
so at times I gave up trying to
create meaning and instead just
focused on the other parts of
Judaism I strongly resonated
with such as holidays and the
tight-knit community.
However, I realized that after
so many years of reading the
same portion I could not keep
continuing to do it if I was
not going to try to generate a
religious connection because
if I did not, then I knew I was
doing it for the wrong reasons.
I finally realized that in order
to be Jewish you do not have
to completely agree with every
aspect of the religion and the
concrete beliefs about God.
Reading Torah did not have to
be about the active words I was
saying, but it could be about the
connection to my family sitting
in the congregation. It could be
about the memories I had from
reading Torah in middle school
and at camp. It could be about
my excitement for the holidays
and my favorite traditions.
What had felt powerless to
me for a long time was now an
opportunity to gain even more
meaning in my life.
Allison Feldman is a senior at Frankel
Jewish Academy.
PURELY COMMENTARY
Allison
Feldman