NOVEMBER 17 • 2022 | 15

and keeps many individuals from seeking 
help.
“Talking about it is the most important 
thing,” says Missy Bean, LMSW, a 
trauma-certified clinical therapist in 
Oakland County. (She is not related to 
Erik Bean).
“Suicide and mental illness really need 
to be treated like a medical condition; if 
someone has an earache or strep throat, 
we treat them.”
Bean believes education and awareness 
is necessary to improve the current 
shortage of mental health resources and 
services.
“We need more mental health 
providers, and we need to make services 
available to everyone regardless of 
insurance,” she said.
For parents, being open about their 
child’s death is a way to dispel the cloud 
of negativity that often accompanies 
suicide. 
“Everything’s a stigma until it happens 
to you; heart disease used to be a stigma,” 
said Erik Bean. “It’s not a controllable 
event; mental illness can happen to 
anyone, and some of these kids never 
even had mental health issues.”
Leah Gawel tells people her son died 
by suicide and encourages others to avoid 
mincing words. 
“As long as we treat that word as taboo 
and dance around the facts, we become a 

part of the problem,” she said. “At Sam’s 
funeral, I told our friends and family that 
we wanted to be clear about how Sam 
died, and we wanted the word suicide 
to be used freely so that it never needs 
to be used again to describe another 
unnecessary death. If we need to shout 
it from the rooftops or toss it across 
social media in order for people to pay 
attention, then by all means do.” 

WORDS MATTER 
Language reflects how our culture views 
certain topics, and it changes according 
to current perceptions. For example, 
we no longer define a person by their 
disability; we say, “a person with autism” 
instead of “an autistic person.” The 
language of suicide has changed in much 
the same way. 
Instead of saying a person “committed 
suicide,” a word associated with crimes 
or sins, the appropriate phrase is “died 
by suicide,” just as a person might die of 
cancer. 
“Words are important,” Leah Gawel 
said. “They hold weight … Pretending 
suicide is something else is dangerous. 
We need to call it what it is and address it 
head on. Perhaps if we are honest about 
suicide and we push it to the front and 
center, then we stunt its power. We can 
end this horrible epidemic that is robbing 
our youth of their futures.”

PRINCIPLES OF PREVENTION
While it is impossible to foresee or 
prevent suicide in many instances, 
certain prevention protocols can be 
effective for those who are open to help. 
 One of the greatest myths about 
suicide is that talking about it will 
encourage a person to end their life. 
Not only is this a fallacy, but research 
shows discussing the subject openly can 
save lives while avoiding the topic may 
discourage people from asking for help. 
This is one of the principles of 
safeTALK, a suicide alertness training 
program that teaches participants 
how to engage with at-risk individuals 
and connect them with the 
appropriate resources and 
professional help. 
“There are three important 
questions to ask someone 
who appears to be struggling: 
Are you thinking about 
suicide, do you have a 
plan, and do you have 
a time frame?” says Rabbi Yarden 
Blumstein, certified safeTALK trainer 
and director of UMatter, a Friendship 
Circle of Michigan program designed to 
empower teens and remove the stigmas 
surrounding mental health challenges 
and suicide. “Those are their barriers. If 
you can deactivate their immediate plan, 
it elevates their safety in a serious way.”

RESOURCES
• 24/7 suicide and crisis hotline: 988
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255)
• Crisis Text Line: text TALK to 741741 to text with a trained crisis 
 counselor
• LGBTQ Crisis Hotlines: 866-488-7386 (Trevor Project Lifeline) or text 
 START to 678-678 
• Transgender Hotline staffed by transgender people: 877-565-8860
• Veterans Crisis Line: 800-273-8255
• Garrett’s Space Wellness Program: 734-709-7684
• Daniel B. Sobel Friendship House (a program of Friendship Circle 
 of Michigan): (248) 788-7878 or visit www.friendshipcircle.org/
 friendshiphouse
• UMatter (support and empowerment for teens and young adults, 
 sponsored by Friendship Circle of Michigan in partnership with the 
 Andrew Kukes Foundation for Social Anxiety): Rabbi Yarden 
 Blumstein, (248) 788-7878 ext. 208, or email yarden@friendshipcircle.
 org or umatter@friendshipcircle.org or visit www.friendshipcircle.org/
 umatter
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: Call 888-333-AFSP 
 (2377) or visit https://afsp.org/ 

Rabbi 
Yarden 
Blumstein

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