NOVEMBER 17 • 2022 | 51

S

ome are born into the 
Jewish tradition; others 
marry into this tradi-
tion, and others take a cultural 
approach on bagels in their 
belonging to the Jewish peo-
ple. While this is by no means 
an exhaustive list, Chayei 
Sarah provides three motifs 
to help us examine 
who belongs and how 
open we should make 
our Jewish community 
tent.
The stories of 
Abraham making buri-
al arrangements for his 
late wife, Sarah, find-
ing a wife for Isaac and 
the end of Abraham’s 
life each offer a differ-
ent perspective of the 
questions: Who is in, 
who is out and how do 
we calibrate Jewish belonging?
The first motif of the par-
shah addresses this front and 
center. “I am a resident alien 
among you,” (Genesis 23:4) 
Abraham states as he makes 
arrangements to bury Sarah. 
In his mind, and perhaps his 
heart, he feels like an outsider 
despite having accumulated 
a wealth of possessions and 
relationships over many years 
in Canaan. 
Anyone who has ever joined 
a new community or family 
can empathize with Abraham. 
As a community, we must be 
sensitive to those in our clos-
est circles who might feel as 
though they don’t belong and 
always look to see the whole 
person in front of us, as the 
Hittites did for Abraham. 
Second is the familiar story 
of Abraham’s servant finding 
a wife for Isaac. Abraham’s 

stipulation is that she must 
be from the land of his 
birth (Genesis 24:2-4), yet 
it’s Rebecca’s generosity that 
sets her apart. While this is a 
lovely story, we don’t get an 
answer to why it’s import-
ant that Isaac’s wife not be a 
Cannanite. Is it as relevant as 
demanding that a spouse 
not be from Ohio? Or 
Jewish? Where we are 
from fosters belonging as 
well as our identity, inter-
ests and values. However, 
when a person’s birth-
place closes a door to our 
tent, what are we being 
insensitive to?
The third section picks 
up on this question. 
Abraham takes a second 
wife, Keturah, and has 
six more children upon 
whom he bestows gifts and 
sends “to the land of the East” 
(Genesis 25:6). The parshah 
ends with Ishmael’s family 
line. This story reminds us 
that Abraham was an influ-
ence on many faith traditions, 
certainly Judaism, Christianity, 
Islam — and possibly more.
The power in these verses 
is that they remind us that the 
knowledge of different spiri-
tual practices was known and 
influential to one another. It 
is not where we’re from, but 
our humanity and core Jewish 
values that unite us. 
In a world that is divided, 
recalling these stories of belong-
ing and community remind us 
of who we are and what we con-
tinue to honor as a core tenet 
of our Jewish life today. 

Rabbi Jeff Stombaugh is Executive 

Director/Rabbi at The Well.

SPIRIT
TORAH PORTION
Belonging and 
Community

Rabbi Jeff 
Stombaugh

Parshat 

Chayei Sarah: 

Genesis

23:1-25:18;

I Kings 1:1-31.
Every year, thanks to donors like you, 
Jewish Family Service is able to support 
vulnerable older adults, provide mental health 
and wellness services, and serve as a safety 
net for over 15,000 individuals. 

Your gift to the Friends of the Family 
Friends of the Family campaign
campaign
will go towards meeting our community’s 
greatest needs. These critical funds ensure 
that no one faces life’s challenges alone.

Donate today
Donate today

jfsdetroit.org/friends
giving@jfsdetroit.org 
248.592.2339

Your generosity can
change the picture.

See how.

Jewish Family Service

Friends of the Family Campaign
Friends of the Family Campaign

