NOVEMBER 17 • 2022 | 13

L

osing a child to suicide is a 
tragedy no parent wants to 
imagine. Yet, suicide is the 
10th leading cause of death in the 
U.S. and the second leading cause 
for people ages 10-34. Last year, 
the number of suicides by males 
in the 15-24 age group increased 
by 8%, according to recent data 
from the CDC’s National Center 
for Health Statistics. And, for every 
person who dies by suicide, a circle 
of family members and friends are 
left with overwhelming grief and 
unanswerable questions. 
In 1999, Congress designated the 
Saturday before Thanksgiving as 
International Survivors of Suicide 
Loss Day to provide support and 
connection for those who have lost 
loved ones to suicide. This year, on 
Saturday, Nov. 19, the American 
Foundation for Suicide Prevention 
(AFSP) sponsors virtual and in-person 
events in communities across the world. 

A SURVIVORS’ EVENT WITH 
A JEWISH PERSPECTIVE
This year, the second annual “Survivors 
Day — Through a Jewish Lens” event will 
take place via Zoom on Sunday, Nov. 20, 
from noon-2 p.m. EST. The timing allows 
people throughout the U.S. and Israel to 
participate.
The virtual program was initiated by 
Sandra Goldmeer, area director of the 
Capital Region NY Chapter of AFSP, 
who moderates the two-hour event. The 
purpose is two-fold: to give observant 
Jews an opportunity to attend a Survivors 
Day event and to provide a Jewish 
perspective on coping with the death of a 
loved one. 
Last year, the presentation centered on 
the Book of Job and the Jewish viewpoint 
on suffering. This year, the focus will be 
on the weekly Torah portion “Chayei 
Sarah,” the Hebrew phrase for “life of 
Sarah.” While the reading paradoxically 
begins with the death of Abraham’s wife, 
Sarah, the text recounts situations that 
exemplify Sarah’s influence on her family 
and the legacy she left.
“This reading encourages us to honor 
people for the way they lived rather than 
the way they died,” Goldmeer said, “and it 
gives people a chance to connect Jewishly.”

A TRAGIC LOSS
Sam Gawel had a ready smile and a way 
of making people feel at home wherever 
he went. A senior at Dartmouth majoring 
in earth and environmental sciences 
and anthropology, Sam was an avid 
outdoor adventurist who loved hiking, 
mountaineering and rock climbing. 
 He had a girlfriend, an abundance 
of meaningful friendships and loving 
relationships with his parents, Leah and 
Randy, and his sister, Sophia. He was 
looking forward to studying atmospheric 
sciences in grad school and working to 
create a better, safer world. On Sept. 21, 
the former Detroiter and graduate of 
Frankel Jewish Academy died by suicide 
at the age of 21.
 Sam had no history of depression; 
he showed no warning signs. On the 
day he died, he updated his resume, 
reached out to professors at prospective 
graduate schools, finished his homework, 
did a load of laundry and worked out 
at the gym. He confirmed plans for 
the upcoming days and weeks; baking 
bread with a friend, grabbing meals with 
fraternity brothers, rock climbing with his 
girlfriend, substitute teaching for Hebrew 
School and returning to Michigan to 
watch a football game.
 “He literally lived his life until the 
moment he died,” said his mother, Leah 
Gawel. “His technological footprint was 

like any other college student’s. We saw 
nothing of concern.”

SURVIVING THE LOSS 
OF A FRIEND
When Max Merzin, 33, learned his best 
friend had recently died by suicide, it 
was the third time he lost a close friend 
to suicide over the past two decades. 
Although his friend had made previous 
attempts to end his life, he had just 
returned from a European vacation and 
seemed to be doing well.
“He loved his trip, and he had a new 
job, but it’s hard to tell what someone 
is really thinking,” said Merzin, a native 
Detroiter who recently moved to Tulsa, 
Oklahoma. The two young men, friends 
since middle school, had fallen out of 
touch but reconnected at a farewell party 
for Merzin last summer. 
“He was very sad, crying, but I thought 
it was because I was leaving,” Merzin said. 
“In retrospect, I realize his emotion at the 
party was because he knew it was the last 
time he would see me and my family.”
The last time he lost a friend to suicide, 
Merzin sought counseling to help him 
deal with the guilt he was feeling.
“It can be very traumatizing,” he said. 
“You have to tell yourself it wasn’t your 
fault, that the person was going to do what 
he did.”
Losing close friends has affected Merzin 
in various ways.

Sam 
Gawel

continued on page 14

Max 
Merzin

