JULY 21 • 2022 | 53

G

abe Karp believes 
conflict can be a good 
thing, if handled 
right.
As an operating partner 
at Detroit Venture Partners, 
venture partner at Lightbank, 
keynote speaker and former 
trial attorney, Karp, 52, of 
Huntington Woods, recog-
nized that people are always 
surrounded by conflict — and, 
therefore, causing discontent.
The key to managing con-
flict, however, is learning how 
to face it in healthy ways.
“If we detox the negative 
conflict and we engage in a 
healthy conflict, everything 
gets better,” says Karp, who 
recently authored the book 
Don’t Get Mad at Penguins, 
released in April 2022 via 

Simon & Schuster.
The book’s focus: how to 
make conflict work.
In talking about conflict, 
Karp uses a simple analogy to 
help people understand the 
toxic traps of conflict, one that 
translated to the book’s catchy 
title. In fact, much of the 
book is based on his keynote 
speeches and tips and tricks 
he’s learned over the years.
“The penguin analogy is 
really a lesson in acceptance,” 
explains Karp, who says that 
although penguins have wings 
and feathers, they simply 
aren’t able to fly. “We should 
accept people for who they 
are and not expect them to do 
things that they’re not capable 
of.”
Adopting this mindset, he 

says, can eliminate unhealthy 
conflict.
“You either accept that or 
you get mad at it,” he says of 
penguins’ inability to fly. “You 
can keep expecting it to fly, 
and every time it doesn’t fly, 
you’re going to get frustrated.”
It’s an “absurd thought pro-
cess,” he laughs, but one that 
“resonates with people.”

THE NATURE AND 
NURTURE OF CONFLICT
Karp says a fear of conflict is 
a two-pronged process that 
begins as a result of nature 
and nurture. “Taking the 
nurture side, we’re all social-
ized from a very young age 
to shy away from conflict,” he 
explains. “Maybe our parents 
taught us that if we don’t have 

anything nice to say, don’t say 
anything at all.”
While this teaches good les-
sons, it can also teach people 
to view conflict as a bad thing. 
“Nobody wants to be that 
person who’s always causing 
trouble,” Karp says.
Nature’s influence, on the 
other hand, creates a flight-or-
fight instinct, or how our body 
reacts as a means to survive. 
“We’ve got physiological 
things going on in our bodies 
that drive really poor uses of 
conflict,” Karp says. A region 
of the brain known as the 
amygdala prepares humans 
to detect threats, triggering a 
flight-or-fight instinct.
It’s a necessary means to 
survival, but it can also set the 
stage for poor conflict man-

How to avoid the toxins 
of conflict, according to 
keynoter Gabe Karp.

Make Conflict 
Work

ASHLEY ZLATOPOLSKY CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Gabe 
Karp

BUSINESS

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