54 | JULY 21 • 2022 

agement. “We immediately 
notice physiological changes, 
like quivering in our chest 
or voice, a rapid heartbeat or 
sweaty palms,” Karp says of 
the body’s response to conflict. 
“When you’re not in a physi-
cal confrontation, that’s really 
bad.”
So how can people diffuse 
the constraints of nature and 
nurture and deal with conflict 
in healthy ways? Being aware 
of and understanding the tox-
ins of conflict is a great start, 
Karp says. 
 These are four common 
traps that Karp says people 
can easily fall into:

FEAR
“When it’s two-o’-clock in the 
morning and I’m trying to 
take a shortcut through a city 
and I see a really dark alley or 

a dangerous neighborhood, 
and I look down and feel fear, 
that’s a good thing,” Karp 
explains. “That’s going to keep 
me out of trouble.”
In conflict, however, fear 
can lead to avoidance. “If I 
have too much fear,” he con-
tinues, “I’m going to shy away 
from conflict that otherwise 
might be healthy.”

ANGER
“When I get angry, my anger 
motivates me to fix things 
that are broken,” Karp says. 
“If something’s not working, 
if it’s a process at work, if it’s 
a personal relationship, and 
it’s causing me frustration and 
anger, I’m going to go fix it.”
Once anger has served its 
purpose, Karp says to let it 
go. “If you hang onto it, your 
anger elevates beyond the 

optimal level. That’s going 
to impact your behavior and 
cause you to interact with 
people in a way that’s not pro-
ductive or even destructive.”

EGO
Ego can play a major role 
in the trajectory of conflict. 
“Is my ego driving this 
conflict, or is the other 
person’s ego driving this con-
flict?” Karp says to consider. 
Once you can pinpoint ego as 
the driving force of unhealthy 
conflict, it becomes easier to 
manage.
“Labeling these things as 
toxins increases our level of 
awareness,” he continues, “and 
understanding how various 
patterns work.”

JUDGMENT
Similar to anger and ego, too 

much 
judgment can 
lead to unhealthy or unpro-
ductive conflict. Preconceived 
notions about people can 
interfere with our ability to 
communicate effectively, 
Karp explains. “
Ask yourself, 
‘
Am I falling into one of these 
traps?’”
Doing so, Karp says, can 
help you “see the trap way off 
on the horizon and avoid it 
altogether.” 

BUSINESS

continued from page 53

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