28 | JUNE 2 • 2022 

J

ournalist Stephen 
Henderson judges that 
“the political climate has 
worsened over the last decade 
or so.” Henderson, along 
with many other observers 
of American politics, finds it 
disturbing that “people have 
started to come apart” over 
their disagreements. 
 Friends and relatives do not 
know how to talk with each 
other across their venomous 
partisan divisions. Activists 
and leaders routinely break 
the norms of political behav-
ior; ordinary citizens hear and 
use increasingly violent lan-
guage; protesters turn violent; 
we wonder if we can count on 
impartial elections or peaceful 
transfers of power.
People just cut their ties 
with former friends who hold 
opposing political opinions. 
But Henderson has long 
enjoyed a close friendship with 
Nolan Finley, despite their 
political disagreements. About 
15 years ago, when Finley was 
editorial page editor of the 
conservative Detroit News and 
Henderson had the equivalent 
position at the liberal Detroit 
Free Press, they often attended 
the same news events; program 
planners would invite them 
to discuss their disagreements 
in public forums. Finley and 
Henderson liked to rehash 
those events at the bar after-
wards. 
In the ensuing years, they 
have not drawn any closer 
politically. Both men say, “We 

strongly disagree about almost 
everything.” About that they 
agree. They also agree that 
Americans need to find a way 
to talk with and listen to each 
other, even about politics. 
Finley says, “There is 
too much hate in America 
today, fueled by our pol-
itics.” Henderson agrees: 
“Confrontation happens when 
civility breaks down, and we’ve 
seen things turn increasingly 
uncivil and violent in the past 
decade. We’re fighting for our 
soul as a country, and we need 
to act now before it’s too late.”
So, they started, in Finley’s 
words, “my conservative 
friends and acquaintances, 
his progressive friends and 
associates, to bring them 
together in small groups over 
bourbon, in local bars, just to 
talk together.” 
 The two friends would 
model techniques for 
disagreeing respectfully. 
Finley and Henderson came 
to believe that they could help 
teach civility as an outgrowth 
of their own political dialogue. 
In the years of their unusual 
and unlikely friendship, they 
figured out how they had built 
a successful and productive 
relationship when they hold 
opposing perspectives on 
almost everything.
As more people angled 
for invitations, the meetings 
outgrew that informal 
structure. In 2020, Finley 
and Henderson started 
an organized Great Lakes 

Civility Project, to scale 
their efforts up to reach the 
general public. With the help 
of sponsors, Delta Dental 
Plan and Huntington Bank, 
the Great Lakes Civility 
Project has now conducted, 
in Finley’s description, “54 
programs at community 
groups, classrooms, civic 
organizations, churches.” (For 
a list of upcoming events, visit 
greatlakescivilityproject.com.) 
Finley identifies the 
operating assumption that 
makes civil discussions 
possible: “That all people, 
all good people, come to 
their opinions in the same 
way. They take the facts, the 
information, the data; they 
run it through the filters of 
their values and experiences; 
and they come up with their 
opinion. 
“If it is different from yours 
or mine, that doesn’t make 
them evil. It doesn’t make 
them stupid. It doesn’t make 
them sinister in any way. They 
just have different experiences 
or whole different values. 
Those values are just as valid 
as yours. You may never agree 
with them.”
When we talk with 
people with other political 
commitments, he says, “We’re 

not asking you to reach 
consensus, just to develop 
respect for the other person 
and their viewpoints. Agree 
with their right to hold their 
views.” 
According to Finley, that 
mindset reduces suspicion and 
saves us from assuming that 
“we know something about 
people … based on what we 
think we know about their 
political views. And once you 
sit down talking, the more we 
talk to each other, the more we 
understand each other.”
To have that civil discus-
sion, we have to “check our 
self-righteousness,” he says. 
We have to recognize we 
might learn something. “If you 
know that you have nothing to 
learn … you won’t learn any-
thing,” he adds. 

THE CIVILITY PROJECT IN 
THE JEWISH COMMUNITY
In that first year, during the 
COVID-19 lockdown, the 
Civility Project did a Zoom 
program for the JCRC/AJC 
(the Jewish Community 
Relations Council/American 
Jewish Committee). Rabbi 
Asher Lopatin, executive 
director of JCRC/AJC, said 
there were about 40 partic-
ipants on Zoom, including 

continued on page 29

OUR COMMUNITY

Talking and listening across 
the political divide.
Let’s Be Civil

LOUIS FINKELMAN CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Nolan Finley, veteran 
editorial page editor of 
the Detroit News, and 
Stephen Henderson, host 
of Detroit Today.

