12 | APRIL 14 • 2022 

student corner
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
F

ive years ago, I stepped 
on the scale and stared 
down at the fluores-
cent green digits. As my 
eyes remained glued to the 
number, my angst of feeling 
chubby was val-
idated. At that 
moment I made 
a commitment 
to never let the 
scale hit my 
magic number. 
Immediately 
after reading 
the scale, I never ate the same 
again. I consumed the same 
meal every morning for two 
straight years; I was entirely 
inflexible. Food was no longer 
a fuel; it was merely a num-
ber. In addition, I made it my 
mission to work out every 
single day.
As progress continued, I 
found myself unsatisfied. 
No matter what I did, it 
was never enough. During 
the summer prior to eighth 
grade, I began camp. I had 
already lost weight, but I did 
not feel the sense of accom-

plishment that I craved. At 
camp, I basically starved 
myself — breakfast: very lit-
tle, lunch: nothing, dinner: 
not nearly enough. At snack, 
I would literally walk away, 
resisting temptation. 
To top it off, I was misera-
ble. Each day I wanted to go 
home. I missed the excite-
ment of camp because of my 
own crankiness. All along, I 
thought that the problem was 
the events circling around me. 
However, truly, the real issue 
was the destruction within 
me. I had no physical or 
mental fuel — my body was 
running on fumes. To make 
matters worse, I still did not 
seek help. I was a wreck. The 
closer I got to what I thought 
would make me happy, the 
further off happiness seemed. 
My parents grew worried 
and sought professional 
help. When I was given my 
meal plan to start recovery, I 
almost fainted. It tripled the 
amount of food I was eating 
at that time. But, I put on 
a brave front and said, “No 

problem, this will be easy.” 
Over the next couple of 
months, it easily turned 
into throwing out lunches 
and cheating the system 
in every possible way. Yet, 
there was no way to escape. 
Rules started to get strict. My 
parents started cooking and 
watching me eat. No scale. 
No exercise. I broke. It got 
to a point where each time I 
ate a meal, I cried. My body 
refused the food; this was not 
because I was full, but rather 
the anguish of knowing I was 
being forced to gain weight. 
Things were not looking 
bright. However, ironically, 
what seemed to be a curse to 
most was a blessing for me. In 
March 2020, when COVID-
19 arose, I could no longer 
hide my eating disorder from 
my family. It was then I began 
to do the work to improve my 
relationship with food. With 
each meal I ate, the more 
rejuvenated I felt. People 
began feeling connected to 
me again and wanted to be 
around me. I felt reconnected 

to my life. Weight was gained 
and before I knew it, I was 
already over the weight that 
had held me hostage for so 
long. I was beyond the magic 
number. It had no power over 
me. It was just a number. 
We are all made in the 
image of God — b’tzelem elo-
him, all special in our own 
way. When we struggle, it is 
okay, and through that adver-
sity, it is critical to seek help. 
It is then that our b’tzelem 
elohim, our unique inner 
selves, will shine in this world 
and make a difference. 
Anyone, no matter one’s 
gender, who feels they might 
be struggling with an eating 
disorder or any mental health 
issue, I encourage you to find 
someone who can help. My 
healing, growth and progress 
exists because someone I 
trusted helped me through a 
significantly challenging time 
in my life. 

Merrick Michaelson is a junior at 

Frankel Jewish Academy.

PURELY COMMENTARY

Merrick 
Michaelson

Pesach

Di shrub azay rayn 
un alles will shine 
der tish azay shayn mit der 
glazl of vine. 
Der Pesachdik food 
So batamt un so good, 
So please don’t be shy, 
kum, kum arayn. 

di shtib azay rayn: the house 
is so clean 

un allles: and everything 
der tish azay shayn: the 
table so pretty 
mit der glazl of vine: with 
the little glass of wine 
der Pesachdik: of Pesach 
batamt: tasty 
kum arayn: come in. 

By Rachel Kapen

Yiddish Limerick

