4 | FEBRUARY 10 • 2022 

for openers
Me and Tom Brady
T

om Brady announced 
his retirement last 
week from profession-
al football after 22 years and 
seven Super Bowl victories. 
He’s a University 
of Michigan 
graduate. I’m a 
Michigan State 
graduate. But 
we do have two 
things in com-
mon. We both 
knew when it was 
the right time to 
retire from football, and we’ve 
both been associated with super 
models. Stay with me here. 
I’ll never forget that fateful 
day in 1967 when I walked 
away from the game of football. 
I was the back-up quarterback 
on my seventh grade Mary 
Thompson Jr. High School 
team in Southfield. I had made 
what they called the “heavy-
weights” squad. Yes, we had 
two squads, lightweights and 
heavyweights. Not politically 
correct but an accurate assess-
ment. Our schedule consisted 
of school opponents in equal 
weight classes.
Sadly, I made the heavy-
weight team by one pound. 
Instead of being the biggest kid 
on the lightweights, I was now 
the smallest kid on the heavy-
weights. I should’ve skipped 
lunch on tryout day.
A scale dashed my dreams 
of being the most dominating 
fullback in junior high football 
history. 
Every day I had to face prac-
ticing against behemoths, all the 
while wearing my older broth-
er’s hand-me-down athletic cup 
(honest) and high-top spikes — 
a Johnny Unitas look without 
the talent.

In a decision that rivals any 
bad player personnel decision 
the Detroit Lions have ever 
made, I was designated the 
back-up quarterback for my 
squad. I don’t recall ever trying 
out for that position let alone 
being good enough to be the 
go-to-guy in an emergency.
Our coach must have felt our 
starting QB was invincible. He 
was a tall muscular guy named 
Bill whose athletic prowess 
deserved the starting nod. If 
he was our team’s Tom Brady, 
I was our Don Knotts — ner-
vously shaking on the sideline. 
I took a knee before the start of 
every game. I wasn’t protesting; 
I was praying I wouldn’t be 
inserted into the lineup. My 
prayers weren’t answered.
One fateful fall night, Bill got 
injured during a battle against a 
bruising team from Anderson 
Jr. High School in Berkley. I was 
called into duty and called the 
only play I had committed to 
memory, 939, a pass play. 
I took the snap, faded back 
and threw the ball barely down 
the field. However, I threw it 
so high in the air it gave both 
teams time to settle under the 
wounded duck of a pass to fight 
for its possession. In the strug-
gle, the ball aimlessly fell to the 
ground.
Thankfully, Bill recovered 
quickly and was reinserted 
into the lineup after my lone 
play. Mercifully, this was before 
smart phones, which no doubt 
would have ended up being 
a humiliating viral video on 
social media.
These circumstances led to 
my premature retirement from 
the gridiron. I’m not sure what 
was bruised more, my body or 
my ego.

As previously mentioned, 
Tom Brady and I both have had 
life experiences involving super 
models. Brady will celebrate 
his 13th wedding anniversary 
this month with entrepreneur, 
philanthropist and former 
Victoria Secret model Gisele 
Bündchen. Talk about your 
power couple.
On the other hand, my “rela-
tionship” years ago with model 
Christie Brinkley has remained 
under the radar. You heard me. 
Here’s the back-story.
I was on a media junket to 
Walt Disney World as part 
of the Dick Purtan morning 
radio show. We were wined and 
dined by the Disney Corp. in 
exchange for our broadcasting 
from the park to promote their 
newest ride — the high-speed 
GM Test Track. 
The exhibit and ride gave 
patrons the experience of what 
rigorous testing General Motors 
put their concept cars through. 
The experience left me breath-
less, but not as much as my 
exchange with Ms. Brinkley.
Christie was one of several 
high-profile celebrities brought 
in by Disney to promote the 
track’s grand opening. Part of 
their obligation was meeting 

with the press. I was lucky 
enough to secure a one-on-one 
conversation with her. 
Prior to my pushing record 
on my tape recorder, I told her 
that my radio character, “Big 
Al,
” often invited well-known 
celebrities to be in on a gag 
— to act like they knew me 
personally — like I was some 
big deal. In this case, I asked 
Christie to pretend we had 
dated in the past. Her perfor-
mance ended up being worthy 
of an Academy Award.
I barely got my introduction 
on tape started when Christie 
jumped in and chastised me for 
not having kept in touch. “Big 
Al” she bellowed with disap-
pointment in her voice, “why 
haven’t you called me!” It was 
perfect. Being at Disney you 
might say it was our version of 
Beauty and the Beast.
So now you know how Tom 
Brady’s life and mine have 
intersected. Football and super 
models. Tom’s heading for the 
Hall of Fame, and I’ve secured 
my spot in the Hall of Shame. 

Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/

acting talent, speaker and emcee. Visit 

his website at laughwithbigal.com,”-

Like” Al on Facebook and reach him at 

amuskovitz@thejewishnews.com.

Alan 
Muskovitz
Contributing 
Writer

SUE GERSTEN, 1999

PURELY COMMENTARY

Alan “Big Al” 
Muskovitz interviews 
Christie Brinkley at 
Disney World.

