22 | DECEMBER 16 • 2021 

A

lmost all parents 
have been there: 
Your child acts up 
and you realize that, although 
you love her at that moment, 
you can’t stand her!
West Bloomfield 
educational consultant Franki 
Bagdade provides constructive 
ways to face this in her new 
book, I Love My Kids But 
I Don’t Always Like Them, 
published earlier this year by 
MSI Press LLC.
Bagdade, a West Bloomfield 
mother of three — girls 14 
and 12 (turning 13 on Jan. 
1) and a son, 9 — said she 
noticed she could bring some 
of her professional know-how 
into her own home so she 
could work with her children 
to create solutions. 
“Once I realized I was on 
to something and saw the 
success, I wanted to share it 
with others,” she said. 
Bagdade grew up in West 
Bloomfield, graduating from 
Hillel Day School and West 
Bloomfield High School 
before earning a bachelor’s 
in elementary education 
and a master’s in special 
education, both from Wayne 
State University. In May, she 
expects to receive a master’s in 
clinical social work from the 
University of Kentucky. She 
is working as a social work 
intern at the Rochester Center 
for Behavioral Medicine.

As an elementary school 
teacher, Bagdade worked with 
children with special needs. 
She was also an administrator 
at Tamarack Camps. Since 
2019, she has run FAAB 
Consulting, specializing in 
children’s behavior.
Some of her interest in the 
field comes from her own 
experiences growing up with 
attention deficit disorder and 
anxiety.
“Why do kids and teens 
misbehave, and how can we 
proactively prevent some 
this behavior? What is the 
‘why’ behind it? How can we 
collaborate with our kids to 
improve these behaviors?” she 
asks. 
Often, behavior problems 
have an underlying cause 
related to attention-deficit 
disorders, anxiety, depression 
or difficulty regulating 
emotions. Once they 
understand some of these 
triggers — like being in dark 
places or in crowds — parents 
can help their children avoid 
situations that can give rise to 
behavior problems.
Bagdade knew she’d have 
some challenges soon after 
her second child was born. 
Her oldest was a placid baby, 
sleeping easily and able to 
entertain herself when awake. 
When her younger daughter 
was born 23 months later, 
she wasn’t prepared for the 

constant crying. On the other 
hand, the younger one was 
much easier to deal with as a 
toddler than her older sister 
had been.
Each chapter focuses on a 
different topic, and Bagdade 
describes the steps she uses 
and the questions she asks 
when she encounters difficult 
behavior, either in her own 
family or among her clients. 
“Remember you’re not a 
monster if you think your 
supposedly adorable baby is 
not so adorable. This applies 
to toddlers, too, and the beat 
goes on,” she said.
One of Bagdade’s first 
suggestions is one word: 
Listen … to teachers, 

pediatricians, camp directors 
and others who work with lots 
of children. They might help 
put your particular problem 
in context. 
Tantrums are a nightmare 
for most parents, and “time 
out” is a frequent response. 
Instead of a punitive 
approach, Bagdade suggests 
telling the child you will 
work out a solution to what 
is bugging them — but 
only after they stop yelling, 
whining or refusing to 
cooperate.
She realized children in the 
middle of a tantrum weren’t 
so much giving her a hard 
time, they were having a hard 
time. 

Loving your kids, even if you 
don’t always like them.

Parental 
Advice

BARBARA LEWIS CONTRIBUTING WRITER

 Franki Bagdade and 
family. 

OUR COMMUNITY

