DECEMBER 9 • 2021 | 39

SPIRIT
TORAH PORTION
Make Pain Thy Teacher
S

omething about Joseph’s
character impresses me
every time we come
upon his story. His experiences
are so painful. He is betrayed by
his brothers, sold into slavery,
framed by his master’s wife and
imprisoned. He could have so
easily become a broken person,
but he doesn’t.
Torah sets up this week’s piv-
otal moment when the sons of
Israel hold an audience to request
relief from famine from Pharaoh’s
representative, who happens to
be Joseph in disguise. When he
reveals himself, his brothers are
terror stuck, expecting Joseph
to exact revenge from them.
Instead, Joseph says, “Don’t be
distressed or reproach yourselves
... It was to save life that God sent
me ahead of you;” and the broth-

ers embrace in love (45:4-5).
“Don’t be distressed …
” Jewish
mysticism associates Joseph with
the attribute of beauty. Perhaps
this is a reference to him
being Jacob’s favored son
or to the beauty of his
ornamented coat. I like to
think it is in reference to
his seeming inexhaustible
faith and charisma or his
perseverance in the face
of animosity.
Dr. Betsy Stone recent-
ly wrote in eJewish
Philantropy, “Pain can
make us kinder or pain
makes us harder. Pain can
open our hearts or close
them. Pain shows us that we are
part of a whole that we cherish,
or that no one matters more than
me. Pain warms us or it freezes

us. Pain teaches, but we don’t get
to choose the lesson.
”
Each of us has experienced
pain in this pandemic of plans
canceled or delayed, of time
lost or attenuated. We’ve felt
anxiety in our communi-
ties, our schools, our work-
places and our families. We
cannot control the pain that
is inflicted upon us, but we
can control our reaction. In
so many ways, the story of
our patriarchs and matri-
archs throughout Genesis is
a story of family dysfunc-
tion. Not only dysfunction
generationally, but the cycle
tends to repeat itself until it
ends with Joseph. Despite all the
pain passed down to and inflict-
ed upon him, he is able to short
circuit the cycle. Joseph is able to

repair his relationships with his
brothers and they are able to be a
family again. He is gracious, giv-
ing them permission to forgive
and see the good in the wrong
they did. Joseph is able to put
aside the price he paid personally
in being separated from his fam-
ily in order to secure shalom bayit,
peace at home, equilibrium for
his family.
We are at our best when our
lives are lived graciously and
without anxiety, but a more
accurate picture of our character
is revealed in moments of pain.
May we find a way to respond
like Joseph with beauty and grace
to all that is challenging in the
present.

Rabbi Brent Gutmann is rabbi at

Temple Kol Ami in West Bloomfield.

Rabbi Brent
Gutmann

Parshat

Vayigash:

Genesis

44:18-47:27;

Ezekiel

37:15-28.

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