DECEMBER 9 • 2021 | 39

SPIRIT
TORAH PORTION
Make Pain Thy Teacher
S

omething about Joseph’s 
character impresses me 
every time we come 
upon his story. His experiences 
are so painful. He is betrayed by 
his brothers, sold into slavery, 
framed by his master’s wife and 
imprisoned. He could have so 
easily become a broken person, 
but he doesn’t.
Torah sets up this week’s piv-
otal moment when the sons of 
Israel hold an audience to request 
relief from famine from Pharaoh’s 
representative, who happens to 
be Joseph in disguise. When he 
reveals himself, his brothers are 
terror stuck, expecting Joseph 
to exact revenge from them. 
Instead, Joseph says, “Don’t be 
distressed or reproach yourselves 
... It was to save life that God sent 
me ahead of you;” and the broth-

ers embrace in love (45:4-5).
“Don’t be distressed …
” Jewish 
mysticism associates Joseph with 
the attribute of beauty. Perhaps 
this is a reference to him 
being Jacob’s favored son 
or to the beauty of his 
ornamented coat. I like to 
think it is in reference to 
his seeming inexhaustible 
faith and charisma or his 
perseverance in the face 
of animosity.
Dr. Betsy Stone recent-
ly wrote in eJewish 
Philantropy, “Pain can 
make us kinder or pain 
makes us harder. Pain can 
open our hearts or close 
them. Pain shows us that we are 
part of a whole that we cherish, 
or that no one matters more than 
me. Pain warms us or it freezes 

us. Pain teaches, but we don’t get 
to choose the lesson.
”
Each of us has experienced 
pain in this pandemic of plans 
canceled or delayed, of time 
lost or attenuated. We’ve felt 
anxiety in our communi-
ties, our schools, our work-
places and our families. We 
cannot control the pain that 
is inflicted upon us, but we 
can control our reaction. In 
so many ways, the story of 
our patriarchs and matri-
archs throughout Genesis is 
a story of family dysfunc-
tion. Not only dysfunction 
generationally, but the cycle 
tends to repeat itself until it 
ends with Joseph. Despite all the 
pain passed down to and inflict-
ed upon him, he is able to short 
circuit the cycle. Joseph is able to 

repair his relationships with his 
brothers and they are able to be a 
family again. He is gracious, giv-
ing them permission to forgive 
and see the good in the wrong 
they did. Joseph is able to put 
aside the price he paid personally 
in being separated from his fam-
ily in order to secure shalom bayit, 
peace at home, equilibrium for 
his family.
We are at our best when our 
lives are lived graciously and 
without anxiety, but a more 
accurate picture of our character 
is revealed in moments of pain. 
May we find a way to respond 
like Joseph with beauty and grace 
to all that is challenging in the 
present. 

Rabbi Brent Gutmann is rabbi at 

Temple Kol Ami in West Bloomfield.

Rabbi Brent 
Gutmann

Parshat 

Vayigash: 

Genesis 

44:18-47:27; 

Ezekiel 

37:15-28.

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