NOVEMBER 4 • 2021 | 35
A Need For
Self Control
P
our into me now, some of
that red stuff (HaAdom),
for I am exhausted.
” He
was therefore called Edom (red)”
(Bereishit 25:30)
In this week’s par-
shah, Esau comes back
from a hard day’s work,
sees Jacob making a
stew, demands some
and agrees to sell his
birthright to Jacob for
it. He is therefore called
Edom.
The Midrash says
that Esau returned
home that day after
committing five very
serious sins (including
murder and rape). Why
does the Torah focus on the
episode with the stew, a seem-
ingly trivial/minor event, to
name him (Edom) after, rather
than the more serious event of
the sins he committed?
Perhaps here the Torah is
telling the very inner core
of Esau. His willingness to
forgo his birthright so quickly
shows how he was quick to
throw logic out of the window
and follow a more “instant
gratification” route. It was this
same desire, to fulfill his needs
immediately, that led him to
commit the other sins.
This is how the evil inclina-
tion works. When it arouses
a desire in a person’s heart, it
tries to remove the reins of
self-control. It manages to get
an individual to a state where
he is no longer in control of
himself; nothing more is need-
ed! Once a person reaches
such a level, he is not able to
think/act logically.
In the ’60s, impatient
youth adopted the slogan,
“We want the world, and we
want it now!” Some people go
through life “grabbing with
gusto.
” They want instant grat-
ification and give little con-
sideration to decisions
— major or minor. They
feel that if they don’t
“grab” they will miss
out on one of life’s great
opportunities. Impulse
buying becomes a way of
life not only for trinkets,
gadgets and snacks but
also for major life deci-
sions such as job offers,
choice of schools, friends
and even husband or
wife.
The opposite of a
“now” person is a “never” per-
son. Business deals, social and
spiritual choices do require
consideration, but they also
cannot be put off forever.
Insecurity leads to indecision.
The “never” person loses out
on all the right things out
of the fear of making a bad
choice once in a while.
This is why the Torah
focuses on a mere lentil stew.
It shows us the nature of
Esau and the power of the
following our instant gratifi-
cation desires. When we lose
self-control and get caught up
“in the moment,
” we are hand-
ing over our “remote control”
to someone else. That’s why
it’s important when we realize
that we are losing control over
ourselves, to never say or do
anything. Just wait, and then
make a decision with a clear
head.
Rabbi Ari Kostelitz is a rabbi at
Congregation Dovid Ben Nuchim in
Oak Park.
Rabbi Ari
Kostelitz
Parshat
Toldot:
Genesis
25:19-28:9;
Malachi
1:1-2:7.
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