4 | JUNE 17 • 2021 

PURELY COMMENTARY

for openers
Can We Talk?
I 

need to use this forum to put a 
stop to the rumors flying around 
about me. For the record … I am 
not among the anonymous donors that 
contributed $550 million 
to Western Michigan 
University last week; the 
single largest donation 
ever gifted to a public 
university in our country. 
Hopefully, that puts that 
story to rest.
First of all, the donors 
are WMU alumni and 
anyone who knows me well, knows 
I graduated from Michigan State. 
Secondly, the contribution is being 
given to the university’s foundation 
in installments over the next 10 years. 
And besides, if I made that kind of 
commitment, I would be good for it in 
one lump sum. I can just hear it now in 
year two — “the check’s in the mail!” 
Yeah, right.
Meanwhile, did you catch the recently 
concluded six-part series on CNN, 
The Story of Late Night? It looked at 
the evolution of the late-night talk 
show host — from Steve Allen through 
Jimmy Fallon. The backstories are 
riveting, especially the drama of the 
debacle surrounding the hiring and 
firing of Conan O’Brien as Jay Leno’s 
replacement on The Tonight Show.
Conan was famously hired then 
unceremoniously fired after poor 
ratings resulting in Leno’s return for 
five more years. It created a lot of dirty 
laundry being aired publicly — drama 
that was better suited for a soap opera 
time slot.
I would love the CNN docuseries to 
be mandatory viewing for members 
of our youngest new generation — 
Generation Z, those born after 1997, 
if for no other reason than for them 
to learn about the true genius that was 
Steve Allen. 

Steve Allen was to the birth of 
the late-night talk show host that 
the Big Bang was to the universe. 
Without him, late night does 
not exist in its current form. 
You can’t watch Jimmy Kimmel, 
Steven Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, 
James Corden, Seth Meyers 
or Conan O’Brien without 
seeing some remnant of a Steve 
Allen comedic creation. From 
comedic sketches to audience 
participation segments, to 
man-on-the-street interviews 
— late-night talk show hosts’ 
DNA can be directly traced 
back to Allen.
I was happy to learn there is 
a series of podcasts that takes the story 
line further. Behind the Desk: The Story 
of Late Night, is, as described on CNN’s 
website “a companion podcast” to the 
cable channel’s series. Most notably, 
the April 29 podcast is titled: “The 
Writers,” something near and dear to 
my heart. 
As the late Gene Taylor, the beloved 
writer and producer of the Dick Purtan 
Show said on many occasions: “If it ain’t 
on the page, it ain’t on the stage.” 
The late-night hosts shine every 
night, but outside of the spotlight are 
teems of writers who fuel the fire. And 
it turns out that a Purtan show alum 
and my dear friend, Larry Lawson, 
actually got a little taste of being a 
contributing late-night writer.
There was a time when Jay Leno 
would accept and pay for jokes 
submitted by viewers. Larry had two 
of his jokes, complete with “set-ups” 
incorporated into Leno monologues 
and he has a check signed by the 
comedian to prove it.
One night, Leno shared the news 
story about the health hazards of 
popcorn sold in movie theaters 
followed by Larry’s punchline: Said 

Leno: “I had a terrible nightmare last 
night. I dreamt I was in a crowded 
theater, and somebody yelled popcorn!” 
In another monologue during a news 
cycle that simultaneously included the 
financial crisis and the Men’s NCAA 
basketball tournament, Leno delivered 
this Lawson-authored joke: “As you 
may know, President Obama made 
his predictions for the Final Four … 
The only ones left standing will be 
Citigroup, Chase, Bank of America and 
Morgan Stanley.” 
For his trouble, Larry was paid 
$75 for each joke, which is why he 
remained a radiologist until his 
retirement. 
By the way, Larry also has some 
incredible personal correspondences 
from Joan Rivers. The letters, thanking 
him for his jokes, are suitable for print 
… not the jokes! 

Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/acting 

talent, speaker, and emcee. Visit his website at 

laughwithbigal.com,“Like” Al on Facebook and 

reach him at amuskovitz@renmedia.us.

Alan
Muskovitz
Contributing 
Writer

Larry Lawson’s 
letter from Joan Rivers

