28 | MAY 6 • 2021 

SPIRIT

W

ords create people, and words 
create societies. Delving into 
the latest science around 
speech and neuroscience, communica-
tion professor Mark Waldman, one of the 
world’s leading experts on 
communication, and Dr 
Andrew Newberg, a research 
director at Thomas Jefferson 
University Hospital, explore 
the idea of “compassionate 
communication” in their 
book Words Can Change 
Your Brain. They describe 
how, from childhood, humans’ brains are 
molded by the words they hear, and that 
teaching children to use positive words 
helps them with emotional control and can 
even increase their attention spans.
The Torah places an enormous emphasis 
on the ethics of proper speech, with many 
detailed laws and categories. Speech, unique 
to humans, forms the bridge between two 
otherwise separate, independent people. 
It binds us together. Because speech is the 
bridge between people, the values and eth-
ics that surround it are influential as they 
touch on the essence of how we treat the 
people around us.
This week’s parshah, Behar, states: “One 
person shall not hurt his fellow.
” (Vayikra 
25:17) The Talmud (Bava Metzia 58b) 
explains that the verse is referring to caus-
ing emotional hurt through speech. The 
Talmud goes on to provide many examples, 
all relating to hurting people where they 
are most vulnerable, such as reminding a 
person who has done repentance of their 
previous wrongdoings, or a convert of their 
background, or to say judgmental things to 
a person who is suffering.
The Talmud even extends the category 
of hurtful speech to causing any emotional 
hurt or disappointment, such as asking a 

shopkeeper how much a particular item 
costs if you have no intention of buying 
it. Clearly, we need to be supremely sensi-
tive to how our words will be received by 
another person, even if no harm is intend-
ed.
This mitzvah of proper speech goes right 
to the heart of the kind of society we wish 
to create. Using the power of speech for 
good is an expression of our partnership 
with God in creating the world. 
The Sefer HaChinuch says positive speech 
sows peace among people and within soci-
ety at large. In other words, a peaceful, har-
monious society is created through speech 
that is ethical, sensitive, kind and compas-
sionate, while a divisive, hostile society is 
characterized by aggressive, harsh, hurtful 
speech.
But, there is a deeper dimension to the 
power of speech. The Maharal (a 16th-cen-
tury Prague scholar) says harmful speech 
constitutes a direct assault on the Tzelem 
Elokim — the Divine image, the Godly 
soul — within a person. He explains that 
wronging another person can affect dif-
ferent aspects of the human being. The 
wrongdoing can strike at another person’s 
possessions or money, or it can strike at 
their body, their physical being. He says 
verbal abuse is uniquely pernicious because 
it strikes at the neshamah — at the soul, 
which is the very essence of the human 
being.

PUBLIC SHAMING AS ‘MURDER’
It is in this context that we can understand 
the dramatic statement of the Talmud (Bava 

Metzia 58b) that shaming another person 
in public is considered a form of murder.
The Maharal explains, based on the 
Gemara, that when a person is shamed in 
public, their face becomes ashen. He says 
the Tzelem Elokim is physically manifest 
through the glow on a person’s face. This 
becomes obvious when, at the point of 
death, the soul leaves the body and the face 
(and the body) of the corpse turn ashen. 
The glow emanates from the spiritual ener-
gy of the soul. So, if a person is shamed to 
such an extent that the glow leaves his face, 
it indicates that the Tzelem Elokim has, 
so to speak, been knocked out of such a 
person.
Of course, it works the other way as well. 
Words of praise and acknowledgement 
make a person’s face glow. Kind, gentle 
words, words of warmth and encourage-
ment, nurture the souls of those around us.
The Maharal quotes a midrash (Vayikra 
Rabba 4), which states that the soul of 
every human being is in God’s hands, and 
that God therefore defends it. This is how 
the Maharal explains the Gemara, which 
says God considers it a direct affront when 
someone uses the power of words to harm 
another human being. The Talmud goes so 
far as to say (Bava Metzia 59a) that even in 
a time when it is difficult to access Hashem, 
nevertheless the “Gates of Heaven” are 
always open to a person who calls out in 
pain from the hurtful words of another 
person. 

Rabbi Warren Goldstein is the chief rabbi of South 

Africa.

Watch
Your 
Words!

Rabbi 
Warren 
Goldstein

