28 | MAY 6 • 2021
SPIRIT
W
ords create people, and words
create societies. Delving into
the latest science around
speech and neuroscience, communica-
tion professor Mark Waldman, one of the
world’s leading experts on
communication, and Dr
Andrew Newberg, a research
director at Thomas Jefferson
University Hospital, explore
the idea of “compassionate
communication” in their
book Words Can Change
Your Brain. They describe
how, from childhood, humans’ brains are
molded by the words they hear, and that
teaching children to use positive words
helps them with emotional control and can
even increase their attention spans.
The Torah places an enormous emphasis
on the ethics of proper speech, with many
detailed laws and categories. Speech, unique
to humans, forms the bridge between two
otherwise separate, independent people.
It binds us together. Because speech is the
bridge between people, the values and eth-
ics that surround it are influential as they
touch on the essence of how we treat the
people around us.
This week’s parshah, Behar, states: “One
person shall not hurt his fellow.
” (Vayikra
25:17) The Talmud (Bava Metzia 58b)
explains that the verse is referring to caus-
ing emotional hurt through speech. The
Talmud goes on to provide many examples,
all relating to hurting people where they
are most vulnerable, such as reminding a
person who has done repentance of their
previous wrongdoings, or a convert of their
background, or to say judgmental things to
a person who is suffering.
The Talmud even extends the category
of hurtful speech to causing any emotional
hurt or disappointment, such as asking a
shopkeeper how much a particular item
costs if you have no intention of buying
it. Clearly, we need to be supremely sensi-
tive to how our words will be received by
another person, even if no harm is intend-
ed.
This mitzvah of proper speech goes right
to the heart of the kind of society we wish
to create. Using the power of speech for
good is an expression of our partnership
with God in creating the world.
The Sefer HaChinuch says positive speech
sows peace among people and within soci-
ety at large. In other words, a peaceful, har-
monious society is created through speech
that is ethical, sensitive, kind and compas-
sionate, while a divisive, hostile society is
characterized by aggressive, harsh, hurtful
speech.
But, there is a deeper dimension to the
power of speech. The Maharal (a 16th-cen-
tury Prague scholar) says harmful speech
constitutes a direct assault on the Tzelem
Elokim — the Divine image, the Godly
soul — within a person. He explains that
wronging another person can affect dif-
ferent aspects of the human being. The
wrongdoing can strike at another person’s
possessions or money, or it can strike at
their body, their physical being. He says
verbal abuse is uniquely pernicious because
it strikes at the neshamah — at the soul,
which is the very essence of the human
being.
PUBLIC SHAMING AS ‘MURDER’
It is in this context that we can understand
the dramatic statement of the Talmud (Bava
Metzia 58b) that shaming another person
in public is considered a form of murder.
The Maharal explains, based on the
Gemara, that when a person is shamed in
public, their face becomes ashen. He says
the Tzelem Elokim is physically manifest
through the glow on a person’s face. This
becomes obvious when, at the point of
death, the soul leaves the body and the face
(and the body) of the corpse turn ashen.
The glow emanates from the spiritual ener-
gy of the soul. So, if a person is shamed to
such an extent that the glow leaves his face,
it indicates that the Tzelem Elokim has,
so to speak, been knocked out of such a
person.
Of course, it works the other way as well.
Words of praise and acknowledgement
make a person’s face glow. Kind, gentle
words, words of warmth and encourage-
ment, nurture the souls of those around us.
The Maharal quotes a midrash (Vayikra
Rabba 4), which states that the soul of
every human being is in God’s hands, and
that God therefore defends it. This is how
the Maharal explains the Gemara, which
says God considers it a direct affront when
someone uses the power of words to harm
another human being. The Talmud goes so
far as to say (Bava Metzia 59a) that even in
a time when it is difficult to access Hashem,
nevertheless the “Gates of Heaven” are
always open to a person who calls out in
pain from the hurtful words of another
person.
Rabbi Warren Goldstein is the chief rabbi of South
Africa.
Watch
Your
Words!
Rabbi
Warren
Goldstein