10 | JANUARY 21 • 2021 

column
Interfaith and Proudly Jewish
S

everal years ago, I was 
sitting in a nondescript 
room in a nondescript 
hotel at conference for a national 
Jewish organization. I cannot 
recall what the 
session was 
supposed to be 
about, but the 
speaker turned 
to the subject of 
intermarriage. 
I braced myself 
for the litany of 
tropes that would follow. Those 
that intermarry are choosing to 
opt out of the Jewish commu-
nity. Those that intermarry are 
destroying the Jewish future. 
Intermarriage is the end to the 
experiment that was liberal 
Judaism. In frustration, I caught 
eyes with intermarried friends in 
the room — Jewish professionals 
and lay leaders dedicating their 
lives to strengthening the Jewish 
community while simultane-
ously being told that we are the 
downfall of the community that 
we love.
I am thankful to the Jewish 
News for giving me an oppor-
tunity to write a monthly 
column about the experiences 
and realities of interfaith mar-

riage in the Jewish community 
today. I come to this issue both 
personally and professionally. 
I have spent the last 22 years 
either dating, engaged or mar-
ried to my Catholic husband. 
Professionally, in 2019 I chose to 
leave my career as a health care 
attorney to pursue the academic 
study of interfaith families, first 
at Hebrew College and now as 
a graduate student in Wayne 
State University’s Sociology 
department. The question I am 
researching is simple: How will 
the ever-increasing amounts 
of intermarriage impact the 
American Jewish community?
In a matter of weeks, it is 
expected that Pew Research 
Center will publish its follow-up 
study to 2013’s “
A Portrait of 
Jewish Americans.
” That study 
found that 44% of all current 
married Jews who responded 
to the survey were married to 
non-Jews. When the study nar-
rowed its focus to only those 
Jews that had married since 
2005, the number rose to 58%. 
If Orthodox Jews were removed 
from the analysis, 71% of Jews 
married since 2005 married 
non-Jews. 
But these marriage statistics 

are only part of the story. As we 
know from history — or Fiddler 
on the Roof for those who are 
inclined to learn their history 
through Broadway musicals 
— there was a time that marry-
ing outside of the community 
meant that one was forced to 
leave the Jewish community. 
This is no longer true in most 
parts of the Jewish world. Pew 
Research Center found that if 
an American over 65 had one 
Jewish parent, the overwhelming 
likelihood was that they did not 
identify as Jewish. However, for 
those under 30 with one Jewish 
parent, the majority (59%) iden-
tified as Jewish. 
As Pew asked, “Does inter-
marriage lead to assimilation 
and weaken the Jewish commu-
nity? Or is it a way for a religion 
that traditionally does not seek 
converts to bring new peo-
ple into the fold and, thereby, 
strengthen as well as diversify 
the Jewish community?” 
While the academic in me 
may long to debate these ques-
tions, the Jew in me rejects the 
premise entirely. While I cannot 
speak for all 71% of liberal Jews 
that have married non-Jews 
in the past 15 years, I can say 

that I did not get married as a 
religious statement. I met a boy, 
discovered he was my bashert
and chose to spend the rest of 
my life with him.
For those who believe that 
this choice precludes me — or 
my children — from living a 
Jewish life, I would simply ask 
them to look around this com-
munity. Intermarried Jews and 
their non-Jewish spouses are 
praying in synagogues, sitting 
on the boards of Jewish organi-
zations, writing checks to Jewish 
charities, driving carpool to 
Sunday schools and day schools, 
and living Jewish lives every 
single day. 
This year I hope to explore 
alongside the readers the myths 
and facts about intermarriage 
in the Jewish community, 
the joy and the pain that can 
accompany these choices, and 
what intermarriage can teach us 
about creating a more engaged, 
more inclusive, more welcoming 
Jewish community. 

Alicia is the founder of Multifaith Life LLC, 

a consulting firm helping Jewish institu-

tions and the Jewish community adapt to 

the increase in interfaith families, and a 

graduate student studying sociology at 

Wayne State University.

Alicia 

Chandler

VIEWS

continued on page 12

Kudos for Reading 
Lawsuit Coverage
The Jewish News is to be com-
mended for publishing a 
detailed account of the lawsuit 
over state funding to enhance 
educational opportunities for 
Detroit schoolchildren (Dec. 
31, cover story). Particularly, 
the role of Mark Rosenbaum 
in achieving success is well 
described. All of this has been 

ignored by Detroit media; but 
there is more to the story. That 
is, even after voiding segrega-
tion in Bradley v Milliken and 
enhancing the educational pro-
grams of the Detroit schools, 
students are still deprived a 
good education by underfund-
ing.
Hopefully by Rosenbaum’s 
and others’ great work the 
school system will get on and 
stay on the right track.

— The Honorable Avern Cohn

Detroit

Who Supports 
Trump Now?
I’ve never understood how 
my fellow American Jews 
could support Donald Trump. 
Whenever I put the question to 
one of them, the response was 
usually, “He’s good for Israel 
and the Jews.”
Since Trump took office, the 
U.S. has seen a dramatic rise in 
Jew-hating incidents, culminat-
ing in the murder of 11 Jews in 
a Pittsburgh synagogue.
Tikkun olam is a corner-

stone of Jewish belief. How is a 
president who has sought to do 
away with health care funding, 
immigration and protection 
of the environment worthy of 
a Jew’s respect, much less sup-
port?
Since Trump lost his bid for 
reelection, he has done nothing 
but claim falsely that he was 
robbed. The COVID-19 pan-
demic rages on. The number of 
dead from this modern plague 
makes Trump the greatest mass 
murderer of his own people 
in U.S. history due to his non-

letters

