 JANUARY 14 • 2021 | 17

she’
d been donor-conceived in 
1993. Spencer then spent years 
looking through records of 
Wayne State University medical 
students, thinking one of them 
must have been her biological 
parent. After connecting with 
her first half-sibling through 
DNA tests in 2014, Spencer 
eventually deduced that their 
donor had not been a medi-
cal student, as the doctor had 
promised her parents.
Instead, he was a man named 
Hank Heemsoth, who had 
worked for Chrysler and done 
odd jobs for Dr. Trythall around 
the house. Heemsoth passed 
away in 2006.
“I was really upset because I 
spent so much time looking for 
someone who was a medical 
student,
” Spencer told the JN. 
She said her objection to the 
revelation wasn’t Heemsoth’s 
status, but rather the deception 
practiced by her parents’ doctor. 
“Just because [Heemsoth was] 
not educated doesn’t mean that 
he’s not intelligent ... But just 
the fact that Dr. Trythall was 
lying to our parents — that’s not 
right.
” 
Since then, Spencer has found 
58 half-siblings who are also the 
donor offspring of Heemsoth 
(including the sister she grew 
up with, who turned out to have 
had the same donor). Most of 
their parents were patients of 
Dr. Trythall or his partners. 
Jen Urbanczyk, a half-sibling, 
confirmed that her parents were 
also told their donor would be a 
medical student.

‘FAMILY REUNIONS’
Spencer, Urbancyzk and many 
of the other siblings keep in 
touch on a private Facebook 
page and have even gathered for 
“family reunions” in the past.
Spencer has also connected 
with Steve Heemsoth, the son of 
their donor. She’s been lucky to 
have had such a good relation-
ship with a close relative of her 

donor, she said — he’s been to 
their “family reunion” and has 
given them information on his 
father’s health history.
Steve told the JN that his 
father was “such a good guy, just 
real kind-hearted, quiet, and he 
just had such a good sense of 
humor.
” He was a hard worker, 
he said, always working multi-
ple jobs and staying busy. Steve 
actually came along with his dad 
to do yardwork at Dr. Trythall’s 
house when he was a kid.
And, he said, “My dad did 
work in a hospital — but he 
worked in the hospital as a 
cook.
” Steve never discussed his 
dad’s sperm donations with him. 
Still, Steve believes that doc-
tors — and parents — should 
have been more open about 
donor-conception.
“I think everybody should 
know the truth right up front,
” 
he said. “We’re only around so 
many years and, I mean, hon-
esty has always been the best 
policy.
”

A MOTHER’S SECRET
Spencer and Steve’s half-sister 
Nichole McLendon agrees. She 
found out about her donor-con-
ception in October 2020 after 
doing an at-home DNA test. 
She was contacted by a half-sib-
ling who asked if she’
d been 
donor-conceived.
McLendon confronted her 
mother recently and got her 
to admit she’
d used artificial 
insemination. But McLendon 
found it painful to think about 

her mother keeping the secret 
through so many difficult life 
events, including McLendon’s 
own brain tumor and her dad’s 
dementia.
“I was a gift. I was wanted. I 
couldn’t be conceived any other 
way. I don’t understand the 
shame she’s feeling,
” she said. “I 
don’t understand why I had to 
find out at 43 from a stranger 
on Facebook. It shouldn’t be a 
mystery.
”
It’s unknown exactly how 
many times or for how long 
Hank Heemsoth donated sperm 
for Dr. Trythall and his partners. 
The Trythall clinic was sold 
several decades ago to other 
doctors and eventually became 
International Cryogenics, a 
Metro Detroit sperm bank.
The ages of Heemsoth’s donor 
offspring that have so far been 
discovered are spread out over 
a period of more than 30 years, 
though Steve said he thinks his 
dad only donated for a period of 
10-20 years. When contacted by 
the JN, International Cryogenics 
said they don’t give out the 
names of donors, but that they 
have never had someone donate 
for over 30 years.
It’s within the realm of possi-
bility Heemsoth’s samples were 
frozen, as there’s no limit to how 
long a sperm sample can be 
cryogenically preserved.
McLendon decided to break 
the chain of secrecy and told her 
own children about her DNA 
discovery. She also told them 
that if they ever meet a romantic 
partner they’re serious about, 
she’ll purchase a DNA test for 
the partner.
“I said, ‘You know, if there 
could be thousands of half-sib-
lings of mine out there, how 
many then potential people 
related to you could be out 
there?’” she said. “It was a weird 
conversation.
”

NEED FOR TRUTH 
Looking back, Spencer said 

there were some hints in her 
childhood that could have 
pointed to a donor-conception. 
Spencer grew up Jewish, and her 
father used to say he had some 
Native American blood mixed 
in with his Jewish heritage. 
Spencer and her sister both had 
olive skin, while their parents 
were paler.
“I think it probably was his 
way of wondering if there was 
any other genetics in our back-
ground,
” Spencer said.
Spencer had also been active 
in Jewish youth groups and 
gone to Israel in high school, but 
she lost her connection to the 
religion in college. The discov-
ery that Hank Heemsoth wasn’t 
Jewish means that Spencer is 
only 50% genetically Jewish — a 
revelation that has caused her 
some concern.
“I wonder, well, did part of 
me have other leanings because 
of my genes?” she said.
Either way, Spencer wishes 
there hadn’t been such an air 
of secrecy surrounding the cir-
cumstances of her birth. Even 
after her mother told her and 
her sister about their concep-
tion, she didn’t want to revisit 
the conversation.
Part of it was stigma sur-
rounding fertility issues, Spencer 
hypothesizes. But it was also 
because doctors had told their 
patients not to tell anybody, 
even their children, about their 
artificial inseminations, she said.
“In my opinion, they were 
doing a lot of unethical things 
and there’s no oversight of what 
they’re doing, and they want it 
all kept ... behind closed doors,
” 
she told the JN.
But “I knew right away that I 
needed to talk about it,
” she said. 
“I think it’s important that peo-
ple know what is going on.
” 

If you have information you would 
like to share with the JN concerning 
Dr. Peven, your family and/or other 
cases of donor deception, please get 
in touch: alapin@thejewishnews.com.

Half-siblings Lynne Spencer 

and Steve Heemsoth met up 

at a “family reunion.”

COURTESY OF LYNNE SPENCER

