JANUARY 14 • 2021 | 17

she’
d been donor-conceived in
1993. Spencer then spent years
looking through records of
Wayne State University medical
students, thinking one of them
must have been her biological
parent. After connecting with
her first half-sibling through
DNA tests in 2014, Spencer
eventually deduced that their
donor had not been a medi-
cal student, as the doctor had
promised her parents.
Instead, he was a man named
Hank Heemsoth, who had
worked for Chrysler and done
odd jobs for Dr. Trythall around
the house. Heemsoth passed
away in 2006.
“I was really upset because I
spent so much time looking for
someone who was a medical
student,
” Spencer told the JN.
She said her objection to the
revelation wasn’t Heemsoth’s
status, but rather the deception
practiced by her parents’ doctor.
“Just because [Heemsoth was]
not educated doesn’t mean that
he’s not intelligent ... But just
the fact that Dr. Trythall was
lying to our parents — that’s not
right.
”
Since then, Spencer has found
58 half-siblings who are also the
donor offspring of Heemsoth
(including the sister she grew
up with, who turned out to have
had the same donor). Most of
their parents were patients of
Dr. Trythall or his partners.
Jen Urbanczyk, a half-sibling,
confirmed that her parents were
also told their donor would be a
medical student.

‘FAMILY REUNIONS’
Spencer, Urbancyzk and many
of the other siblings keep in
touch on a private Facebook
page and have even gathered for
“family reunions” in the past.
Spencer has also connected
with Steve Heemsoth, the son of
their donor. She’s been lucky to
have had such a good relation-
ship with a close relative of her

donor, she said — he’s been to
their “family reunion” and has
given them information on his
father’s health history.
Steve told the JN that his
father was “such a good guy, just
real kind-hearted, quiet, and he
just had such a good sense of
humor.
” He was a hard worker,
he said, always working multi-
ple jobs and staying busy. Steve
actually came along with his dad
to do yardwork at Dr. Trythall’s
house when he was a kid.
And, he said, “My dad did
work in a hospital — but he
worked in the hospital as a
cook.
” Steve never discussed his
dad’s sperm donations with him.
Still, Steve believes that doc-
tors — and parents — should
have been more open about
donor-conception.
“I think everybody should
know the truth right up front,
”
he said. “We’re only around so
many years and, I mean, hon-
esty has always been the best
policy.
”

A MOTHER’S SECRET
Spencer and Steve’s half-sister
Nichole McLendon agrees. She
found out about her donor-con-
ception in October 2020 after
doing an at-home DNA test.
She was contacted by a half-sib-
ling who asked if she’
d been
donor-conceived.
McLendon confronted her
mother recently and got her
to admit she’
d used artificial
insemination. But McLendon
found it painful to think about

her mother keeping the secret
through so many difficult life
events, including McLendon’s
own brain tumor and her dad’s
dementia.
“I was a gift. I was wanted. I
couldn’t be conceived any other
way. I don’t understand the
shame she’s feeling,
” she said. “I
don’t understand why I had to
find out at 43 from a stranger
on Facebook. It shouldn’t be a
mystery.
”
It’s unknown exactly how
many times or for how long
Hank Heemsoth donated sperm
for Dr. Trythall and his partners.
The Trythall clinic was sold
several decades ago to other
doctors and eventually became
International Cryogenics, a
Metro Detroit sperm bank.
The ages of Heemsoth’s donor
offspring that have so far been
discovered are spread out over
a period of more than 30 years,
though Steve said he thinks his
dad only donated for a period of
10-20 years. When contacted by
the JN, International Cryogenics
said they don’t give out the
names of donors, but that they
have never had someone donate
for over 30 years.
It’s within the realm of possi-
bility Heemsoth’s samples were
frozen, as there’s no limit to how
long a sperm sample can be
cryogenically preserved.
McLendon decided to break
the chain of secrecy and told her
own children about her DNA
discovery. She also told them
that if they ever meet a romantic
partner they’re serious about,
she’ll purchase a DNA test for
the partner.
“I said, ‘You know, if there
could be thousands of half-sib-
lings of mine out there, how
many then potential people
related to you could be out
there?’” she said. “It was a weird
conversation.
”

NEED FOR TRUTH
Looking back, Spencer said

there were some hints in her
childhood that could have
pointed to a donor-conception.
Spencer grew up Jewish, and her
father used to say he had some
Native American blood mixed
in with his Jewish heritage.
Spencer and her sister both had
olive skin, while their parents
were paler.
“I think it probably was his
way of wondering if there was
any other genetics in our back-
ground,
” Spencer said.
Spencer had also been active
in Jewish youth groups and
gone to Israel in high school, but
she lost her connection to the
religion in college. The discov-
ery that Hank Heemsoth wasn’t
Jewish means that Spencer is
only 50% genetically Jewish — a
revelation that has caused her
some concern.
“I wonder, well, did part of
me have other leanings because
of my genes?” she said.
Either way, Spencer wishes
there hadn’t been such an air
of secrecy surrounding the cir-
cumstances of her birth. Even
after her mother told her and
her sister about their concep-
tion, she didn’t want to revisit
the conversation.
Part of it was stigma sur-
rounding fertility issues, Spencer
hypothesizes. But it was also
because doctors had told their
patients not to tell anybody,
even their children, about their
artificial inseminations, she said.
“In my opinion, they were
doing a lot of unethical things
and there’s no oversight of what
they’re doing, and they want it
all kept ... behind closed doors,
”
she told the JN.
But “I knew right away that I
needed to talk about it,
” she said.
“I think it’s important that peo-
ple know what is going on.
”

If you have information you would
like to share with the JN concerning
Dr. Peven, your family and/or other
cases of donor deception, please get
in touch: alapin@thejewishnews.com.

Half-siblings Lynne Spencer

and Steve Heemsoth met up

at a “family reunion.”

COURTESY OF LYNNE SPENCER