32 | JANUARY 7 • 2021 

T

en years ago, Susan Shapiro began 
grappling with a problem she could 
not dismiss. Her thoroughly trusted 
therapist and confidante of 15 years had 
lied to her, and she wondered how she 
could ever forgive him.
“If somebody says, ‘I’m 
sorry,’ I can forgive anybody 
anything,” she explained. 
“But if somebody refuses to 
acknowledge that they did 
something wrong, I have a 
really hard time with that.”
Shapiro’s way of struggling through the 
issue of forgiveness fell right in line with 
the way she usually reacts to uncomfort-
able situations in her life. She wrote a 
book, her 13th overall and her ninth non-
fiction project. Not dwelling on the issue 
simply as she experienced it, the author 
reached out to people with similar prob-
lems and consulted professionals.
All of that comes across in The 
Forgiveness Tour: How to Find the Perfect 
Apology (Skyhorse/Simon & Schuster). 
The book will be introduced Jan. 14, 
two days after its official release, during 
Temple Israel Zoom programming. It will 
be discussed by Shapiro, Rabbi Jennifer 
Kaluzny and two Oakland County res-
idents, Gary Weinstein and Emanuel 
Mandel, whose opposite attitudes toward 
forgiveness are described in the author’s 
latest work.
While Weinstein forgave the drunk 
driver who killed his wife and children, 
Mandel did not forgive Holocaust perpe-
trators, believing he found success, in part, 
by living a life of spite.
“I think I was able to finish the book in 
a way that will do good in the world,” said 
Shapiro, also a magazine contributor who 

has been teaching writing and marketing 
techniques for 30 years at the New School 
in New York as well as in private classes 
and lessons. “I felt I was sharing important 
wisdom about forgiveness.
“I interviewed some really brilliant peo-
ple — all kinds of [religious leaders] about 
the subject of forgiveness, and they had 
such brilliant information. I also inter-
viewed 13 people who had very intense 
stories about forgiveness after being 
wronged in very extreme ways.”
As she learned the reasoning behind dif-
ferent points of view, Shapiro probed the 
idea of atonement.
“Jewish people really have to apologize 
and ask for forgiveness,” she said after 
talking with both Rabbis Joseph Krakoff 
and Jennifer Kaluzny. “If a sin is not 
atoned, it is not forgiven.”
Shapiro, who attended the Roeper 
School and Congregation Shaarey Zedek 
while growing up in Michigan, graduated 
from the University of Michigan with a 
major in English and credit for the humor 
magazine Michigas. Although she chose 
her late father’s alma mater, New York 
University, for graduate school, she asserts 
that the results of her education have not 
always pleased family.
“I consider myself the author of 13 
books my family hates,” Shapiro quipped 
and noted an exception. “One, The Bosnia 
List, was co-authored with the survivor 
of an ethnic cleansing campaign in the 
Balkan war. That came out 10 years ago, 
and that was the one my father, Dr. Jack 
Shapiro, went crazy over [in a good way].
“When he was gung-ho about getting 
copies of that book, I thought it was about 
the history because it told the story of 
Yugoslavia and the whole war. Then, I 

realized it was because I was telling the 
story of someone else’s family and not 
ours.
“I dedicated Forgiveness to my dad, and 
it actually wound up being more about 
my father than I expected it to be. I was 
mourning him while I was writing it.”
Shapiro, who has visited Michigan 
many times for book introductions, will 
be speaking digitally from her home in 
New York, where she lives with her hus-
band, Charlie Rubin, a television writer 
and teacher. She had considered herself 
a “technophobe” but succeeded with the 
Zoom world at the encouragement of her 
mom, Mickey Shapiro of West Bloomfield.
“My brand of teaching really works 
online because it’s the goal to have each 
student publish a great piece by the end 
of the class, and that’s been done so many 
times,” said Shapiro, who delves into tech-
niques with her book The Byline Bible: Get 
Published in Five Weeks. 
“Classes have gone from 20 students to 
60 international students. I’ve been able to 
get the best editors and agents all over the 
country because it doesn’t matter if they’re 
in New York to Zoom in.” 

Zoom in to Susan Shapiro and others discussing for-

giveness at 8 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 14. To register for the 

free event, go to temple-israel.org/event/NeedToRead.

Susan Shapiro launches her new book 
in a Temple Israel Zoom program.

SUZANNE CHESSLER CONTRIBUTING WRITER

 The 
Forgiveness Tour

ARTS&LIFE
BOOKS

Susan 

Shapiro

