26 | NOVEMBER 26 • 2020 

IN 
THE
JEWS D

Everything
but theHugs

T

he upcoming 
Thanksgiving weekend 
marks one full year 
since I last hugged my kids and 
grandkids as they ended a visit 
with us and left for home in 
New Jersey.
Though each of our three 
children and their families 
live in different states, we visit 
one another a few times a year 
and gather in Michigan for 
short, hectic, extended-family 
Passover and Sukkot holi-
days and in a neutral city for 
an annual summer vacation. 
But the one and only time we 
squeeze all 17 of us into our 
home for three days of just us is 
Thanksgiving. 
But this year, COVID has 
canceled our regularly sched-
uled noisy, hugging reunion. 
The 10 cousins — including 
those from Florida and even 
those who live around the cor-
ner from us — who typically 
pile into as few bedrooms as 
possible so more of them can 

be together, will sleep in their 
own beds. They will not bound 
for the kitchen on Thanksgiving 
morning, jam together on 
fewer chairs than kids — some 
in clever Turkey Trot outfits, 
others in football jerseys ready 
for the traditional “dads and big 
kids” trip to the Lions game. 
They will not create a new 
“Friday-through-Shabbat-and 
into Sunday” memory of talking 
sports, holding Monopoly 
showdowns, doing a 1,000-piece 
puzzle that no one is allowed to 
move all weekend, building red 
Solo cup pyramids and reading 
in front of the fireplace, a site of 
awe for the Florida bunch.
Last year’
s tearful goodbye 
hugs and the promise that we 
would all be together a few 
months later at their cousin’
s 
long-planned wedding was 
wretchedly broken. The post-
poned wedding date came and 
went, as did Passover, our annu-
al family trip and all the fall 
Jewish holidays. And suddenly, 

we are back where we started, 
still holding onto those year-old 
hugs, grasping for everything 
that keeps us thankful. 
Like many, our family has 
been though the gamut of frus-
tration, anxiety and personal 
sadness during the pandemic. 
Health issues and concerns not-
withstanding, being apart from 
our children and grandchildren 
has been the most trying. But 
with each disappointment we 
have been able to reach for rea-
sons of gratitude. 
This Thanksgiving, I am 
grateful to the creators of each 
and every novel way that allows 
us to see and hear anyone 
and everyone who has been 
relegated to a space I can’
t get 
to. That includes the devices 
and programs for sharing my 
Thanksgiving menu and recipes 
with my kids, and especially 
to the FaceTime people for 
designing a way for our chil-
dren and grandchildren to “be 
together” on the holiday. Our 
plan is for all of us to spend the 
day together, all day, each in our 
own homes, cooking together 
and watching the parade and 
Lions game together. We will 
eat the same meal at the same 

time, beginning with little hot 
dog appetizers straight through 
to the only non-homemade 
menu item, Bake Station sev-
en-layer-cake, shipped to New 
Jersey and hand-delivered to 
our Florida kids by local, travel-
ing friends.

SURPRISINGLY 
MUCH TO DO
Focusing on what we’
ve missed 
is useless, disheartening and 
depressing. I am uplifted by the 
remarkable, innovative discov-
eries that allow us to celebrate 
and to just be together. In the 
past months, our family has 
been able to Zoom and stream 
multiple birthday parties, a 
wedding, a bar mitzvah, two 
brisses, a bridal shower, extend-
ed-family holiday gatherings 
and school programs with our 
grandchildren. And, in June, we 
were part of a caravan of cars in 
a drive-by welcome home when 
a close family member was 
discharged from a months-long 
hospital stay after recovering 
from COVID.
Through the magic of some-
thing called Vidhug, my mom’
s 
90th birthday party turned 
into a series of compiled video 

Being virtually together to 
celebrate Thanksgiving.

SHELLI LIEBMAN DORFMAN CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Dorfman 

grandchildren, 

Thanksgiving 

2019

