40 | NOVEMBER 19 • 2020 

Hungarian Jews, which was 
founded by Mort’
s great-uncle 
Adolph Deutch, also founder of 
American Savings & Loan and 
a generous man who would go 
on to finance a lot of local Jews 
in business.
While Mort has fond memo-
ries of Uncle Adolph, his mem-
ories of B’
nai Moshe’
s Rabbi 
Moses Lehrman aren’
t as pleas-
ant. “
As I was preparing for my 
bar mitzvah, Rabbi Lehrman 
asked my father where my bar 
mitzvah party was going to be. 
My father told him we couldn’
t 
afford a party, and he didn’
t 
know what we were going to 
do,
” he said.
According to Mort, “Rabbi 
Lehrman lectured my 350-
pound, 6-3 father to the point 
where he reduced him to a 
mound of tears. He said to him, 
‘
You’
re not a good father. A 
good father would have saved 
and have had a proper party for 
his son. Instead, you’
re going to 
embarrass your son.
’
”
Young Mort was so angry 
at the way he felt the rabbi 
treated his father that he said to 
himself, “F*** this religion. I’
m 
done.
” Between the ages of 13 

and 30, he went to synagogue 
fewer than five times. 
Mort was allowed to invite 
one friend to his bar mitz-
vah party, a lunch at Darby’
s 
Restaurant in Detroit. “I was 
probably the only one who ever 
had a bar mitzvah there. I was 
mocked by other Jewish kids.
”
Mort managed to escape 
poverty through education 
and hard work, thanks to his 
great-uncle Adolph and his son 
Alfred as well as his mother’
s 
brother George Reinitz, who 
financed his education.
Mort keeps a photo of them 
in his office. “Without them, I 
wouldn’
t have gone to college.
” 

RETURN TO JUDAISM
It wasn’
t until Mort moved back 
to Metro Detroit in 1988, 22 
years after his bar mitzvah, that 
he returned to a synagogue. “I 
started going to Beth Shalom 
because I heard Rabbi Nelson 
was a nice guy. 
 “I liked him. I told him my 
bar mitzvah story. I said having 
ostentatious bar mitzvah parties 
is bulls**t, and I think it should 
change. I told him, ‘
Rabbi, it’
s 
the wrong message. Why don’
t 

you do a sermon?’
 He agreed if 
I went to service. I did and he 
did.
”
Mort’
s own children’
s bar and 
bat mitzvah parties were parties 
for kids, not adults. No alcohol 
allowed.
He shared another, more 
mystical experience that led 
him back to the faith. When his 
wife was pregnant with his son 
Mark (now 27), a prenatal test 
revealed a potential life-threat-
ening birth defect — a hole in 
the baby’
s spine. 
“My wife and I went to Rabbi 
Nelson looking for advice. He 
put his hands out to us and said, 
‘
We’
re going to pray.
’
 I’
m think-
ing that’
s ridiculous. But we 
did,
” Mort said. “The next time 
she got a test, the potential birth 
defect had resolved itself. The 
hole closed. It re-instilled my 
belief in God, a higher power.
”
Mort is now a member in 
good standing at Temple Shir 
Shalom. “Rabbi Moskowitz, 
Rabbi Schwartz, Cantor Penny 
Steyer and Rabbi Nelson are 
everything that’
s right with 
our religion,
” said Mort, who 
does marketing and PR for the 
temple.

“I don’
t go to services as 
much as I should, but I go more 
than I used to,
” Mort said. “I try 
to sit in the first row. I go look-
ing for nuggets every time.
”
Today, what he enjoys most 
are his children, Jason, Nicole 
and Mark, “wonderful human 
beings who care about their 
fellow citizens,
” and grand-
sons Bruce and Tony, whom 
he coaches in baseball. As his 
grandchildren get older, he 
plans to share with them stories 
of their faith and their family.

NOT AN EASY TASK
Writing the book has led to 
an emotional roller coaster for 
Mort. “It caused me some sad-
ness, depression. I’
m trying my 
best to fight through it,
” he said. 
“Do I always feel good about 
myself? No, many times I feel as 
bad about myself today as I did 
years ago. It’
s just how my brain 
works. 
“I’
ve seen a shrink for the last 
few years and a psychologist 
and unlocked a lot of repressed 
memories — emotional, mental 
and physical abuse that I had 
forgotten about. Stupid things 
I did that I’
d forgotten about. I 
used to not believe in those. But 
they are real.
” 
Mort said he wants people 
who read the book to come away 
with the belief that if you’
re in 
an addiction, there is help when 
you want it. Second, he wants 
people to know it’
s remarkable 
what we can live through. 
“The first time I went to 
the psychiatrist, I told him my 
story. I asked him, ‘
What do 
you think? I’
m not all that bad, 
am I? My life?’
“He told me my story was 
one of the worst he’
d ever heard. 
He said people who are not 
as bad off as me commit hei-
nous crimes as a result of their 
upbringing.
”
Mort sits back in his office in 
Royal Oak and smiles. “In retro-
spect,
” he said, “I wasn’
t all that 
good at being all that bad.
” 

GLENN TRIEST

ARTS&LIFE
ON THE COVER

MORT MEISNER continued from page 38

Mort Meisner at work.

