OCTOBER 22 • 2020 | 33

D

r. Ruth Westheimer 
is one of only a few 
writers of any faith 
whose name universally evokes 
smiles. What may not be as 
well publicized is the sex ther-
apist’
s grounding in Judaism. 
In fact, with all her talk about 
sex, she says there is nothing 
in what she has written or said 
that contradicts the Bible. She 
presents her case in the new 
paperback edition of Heavenly 
Sex: Sexuality and the Jewish 
Tradition (NYU Press, Nov. 3, 
2020), cowritten by Jonathan 
Mark, associate editor at the 
Jewish Week. 
I recently interviewed Dr. 
Ruth to see how the 92-year-old 
therapist is doing and to talk 
about sex and Judaism.

YOU WERE A HOLOCAUST 
ORPHAN AND WERE 
WOUNDED WHEN YOU 
WERE A SNIPER FOR THE 
ISRAELI ARMY. DO YOU 
THINK YOU, OR YOUR 
GENERATION, WHICH 
LIVED THROUGH SO 
MANY HORRIBLE THINGS 
EARLY IN LIFE, MADE YOU 
APPRECIATE LIFE, AND 
SEX, A LITTLE MORE?
RW: Definitely, in my case, the 
appreciation of life is no ques-
tion. But I’
ll tell you also, since 
I’
m one of the few children that 
did survive — one-and-a-half 
million Jewish children were 
killed — I knew I had an obli-
gation to make something out 
of my life. But I did not know 
that it would be talking about 
sex. That, I did not know. 

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX 
AND THE BIBLE. THERE’S A 
LOT OF IT GOING ON, AND 
NOT ALL OF IT BETWEEN 
HUSBAND AND WIFE. WHY 
DO YOU THINK THE BIBLE, 
WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO 

CONTAIN MANY LESSONS 
FOR HOW TO LIVE OUR 
LIVES, IS SO FILLED WITH 
SEXUAL ELEMENTS?
RW: Because sex is an import-
ant part. You and I would not 
be in this world without sex. 
However, you are absolutely 
right. For example, the Book of 
Ruth talks about how she kind 
of seduced Boaz. They are such 
interesting stories because what 
they wanted to make sure is that 
there are next generations.
On Friday night, the husband 
says “
A Woman of Valor.
” In 
that prayer, toward the end, is 
one sentence that I believe is the 
most sexually arousing in the 
world. The husband says to the 
wife, “There are many wonder-
ful women out there who do 
wonderful things, but you are 
the very best.
” And in my expe-
rience as a sex therapist, there is 
nothing better for a woman to 
hear than that. And really, that 
book is the best sex manual of 
all time.
But I want to tell you some-
thing with a hypothesis that 

Dr. Ruth tackles how the Jewish
tradition approaches sexuality.

HOWARD LOVY CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Sex & Judaism

ARTS&LIFE
BOOKS

continued on page 34

COURTESY OF AMAZON PUBLISHING

Dr. Ruth

“NEVER, IN 
THE JEWISH 
TRADITION, 
IS THERE 
ANYTHING 
PROHIBITING 
SEX IN ANY 

POSITION.”

— DR. RUTH