10 | AUGUST 27 • 2020 

Views

guest column
Teaching Resiliency
I

’
ve been (mainly) sitting 
on the sidelines watching 
the rhetoric about plans 
for school this fall unfold and 
have decided it’
s time to speak 
up and put my 
own personal 
stake in the 
ground. 
I urge parents 
to consider an 
attitude change 
on this topic and 
seize the oppor-
tunity to be a role model for 
our children in this incredible 
teaching moment— rather 
than spinning in constant 
negativity, frustration and 
opposition. 
I believe the leaders of our 
schools and districts are doing 
their best to consider the 
safety of all in their decisions 
amidst ever-changing guidance 
from the Board of Education, 
Centers for Disease Control 
and other expert sources. 
There is no great option 
right now — not for families, 
students, teachers or adminis-

trators. Personally, I’
m relieved 
my district (in Illinois, where I 
live) has made the decision to 
start the year with fully remote 
learning out of an abundance 
of caution for everyone’
s 
well-being. 
I am frankly disturbed and 
disappointed by the outcry of 
parents — who live in affluent 
areas, not low-income com-
munities — who claim their 
kids are going to be so heavily 
disadvantaged by not attend-
ing school in person this fall 
and who are ranting and lob-
bying to get their kids back in 
the classroom full time. 
Of course, that is what we all 
want — when it can be done 
safely. I ask you to consider 
these points: 
• In other generations, par-
ents sent their teenage students 
off to war. Many were killed; 
many came home wounded or 
traumatized. In comparison, 
being asked to attend school 
via virtual instruction hardly 
seems like a hardship. 
• What if, instead of worry-

ing about the lack of social and 
peer interaction and missed 
school activities (or even a 
weaker academic experience), 
you took this moment to teach 
your children the important 
life lessons of resilience, pos-
itivity and development of 
new skills that include self-ini-
tiative, self-organization, 
adaptability and the emotional 
growth that comes from con-
trolling one’
s own ability to 
see a “disappointing reality” 
through a different lens? 
• It may not be the exact 
education you were hoping for 
this fall, but it’
s one that will 
certainly build any child’
s skills 
to be successful in college 
and in life — and something 
that simply can’
t be taught in 
a classroom. Yes, that takes 
some hands-on time and ded-
ication from us as parents; but 
that’
s what parenting is — it’
s 
modeling positive behaviors 
for our kids and teaching them 
how to face and navigate life’
s 
challenges. It’
s exactly what 
we should always be teaching 

them “outside the classroom.”
• I would like to see parents 
not only focus on this teaching 
moment for their kids but to 
further model this resilient 
behavior themselves by redi-
recting their own energies to 
helping to make the e-learn-
ing/remote school reality the 
best it can be for our students 
and communities. 
There is so much power in 
what these parents can do if 
they use their influence, cre-
ativity and commitment to 
developing innovative ways 
to make this experience the 
best it can be for all involved 
instead of fighting against it. 
Their kids will all learn a thing 
or two watching them turn 
lemons into lemonades by 
being a part of the solution vs. 
the opposition. 
I speak from personal expe-
rience and as a single mom 
who has to juggle a demand-
ing career with providing 
full-time childcare and house-
keeping during this pandemic. 
I also have a kid on a 504 plan, 

Karen Gold 
Stillman

LETTERS continued from page 6

Kudos to Area 
Synagogues

Kol hakavod to the leaders 
of our Metro Detroit syna-
gogues for their incredible 
efforts on behalf of their 
congregations.
In our relatively small 
West Bloomfield Bnai Israel 
synagogue, our rabbi, Mitch 
Parker, makes sure that there 
are daily morning and early 
evening zoom minyanim so 

people who say Kaddish for 
their loved ones are able to 
continue doing so. On the 
Friday night service, there is 
always a guest who delivers 
the customary dvar Torah 
just like before the coronavi-
rus, among them the editor 
of the Detroit Jewish News who 
was warmly welcomed by the 
congregation. 
Aside from the regular 
daily services, there is a wide 
array of most interesting 

classes in Judaism in which 
many congregants partake. 
Also, being a Conservative 
congregation where a consid-
erable number keep Shabbat, 
including the rabbi, special 
arrangements are made so 
people are able to access 
the link before the onset of 
Shabbat on Friday.
At this point, nothing is 
clear, and it is hard to predict 
as far as the future of our 
shuls. Yet, it seems to me that 

the interest of things Jewish 
increased significantly since 
the scourge of the virus. Let 
us hope that it will contin-
ue. I tend to believe that it 
will. Which reminds me of 
a Hebrew adage rooted in 
the Bible: Me’
az yatzah matok, 
meaning: from a bad thing 
came a good one.

— Rachel Kapen

West Bloomfield