30 | JULY 2 • 2020
Spirit
torah portion
A
few months before
the pandemic, which
now feels like another
lifetime, I flew home for a visit
with my parents and sisters,
one of whom is pregnant with
her first child. Unlike so many
members of our com-
munity, I didn’
t grow
up in Michigan —
although I got here as
fast as I could — and
so these cross-country
trips have become an
essential part of our
routine.
During these visits,
there is always great
food and reminiscing,
board games and shop-
ping; but in my family,
the best conversations
happen at night after
half the house is sleeping. In
the calm and the dark and the
quiet, we talk about the things
that really matter, and the
things that are harder to say
when we are running around or
chasing kids or sitting down to
eat. And given the circumstanc-
es, during this visit, we found
ourselves ruminating on what it
means to raise a family, to share
your life so fully and uncondi-
tionally with someone else.
We talked about moments of
strength and weakness, about
how challenging it is to live
with intention, to raise children
with a strong sense of right and
wrong, negotiating the time
and energy and input of fam-
ilies on both sides. We talked
about change, and how children
morph into completely differ-
ent humans 5, 10, 20, 50 years
down the road. And, of course,
we joked about the wonderful
world of sleep deprivation.
But as the words flowed, as
we shared stories and compared
experiences, it became clear that
all the stories and all the advice
came from a place of love.
This week’
s Torah portion
features a king’
s attempt to
curse the people of Israel. He
sends Balaam, a prophet, to the
Israelite camp; and instead of
cursing them, out of his
mouth comes a beautiful
blessing: Ma Tovu O’
halecha
Ya’
akov, mishkanotecha
Yisrael. How lovely are your
tents, O Jacob, your dwell-
ing places, O Israel.
Our tradition teaches
that Balaam uttered these
words of blessing after
seeing that the Israelites
arranged their homes in
such a way that their doors
and windows faced away
from each other. They
were private, a people
that valued their family units
— their chosen people — and
they made the choice to share
more deeply and trust harder
and love deeper with the people
with whom they shared their
homes.
There are things that we
share with our partners and our
children that we would never
share with another soul. There
are things we share with our
families that leave us vulnerable
and open, as we are lifted or
shattered by those closest to us.
This vulnerability is a bless-
ing. And as we prepare to wel-
come a new soul into our own
family, I can’
t help but dream
of her, sitting in the dark with
us, legs crossed on the couch,
laughing and crying, open and
true.
How lovely are our tents …
how lovely, how sacred, to share
ourselves fully with those we
love.
Rabbi Jennifer Lader is a rabbi at Temple
Israel in West Bloomfield.
Parshat
Chukat/
Balak:
Numbers
19:1-25:9;
Micah
5:6-6:8.
Rabbi
Jennifer
Lader
Of Sharing And Love
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