22 | JULY 2 • 2020
W
hen Debbie and
Howard Silverman
learned of the
birth of their new grandson
in St. Louis on May 28, they
knew his bris would not be
anything like the Shabbat
morning, synagogue ceremo-
ny and kiddush attended by
hundreds of people for his
now 6-year-old brother.
Not only would newborn
Mendel Moshe’
s bris not take
place in a crowded shul, but
no matter where it occurred,
the Silvermans would not be
there — the baby was quar-
antined for 14 days after his
birth due to the COVID-19
pandemic.
The grandparents, who live
in Waterford, had traveled to
be with their son and daugh-
ter-in-law’
s family when
each of their other children
was born, and in “normal”
times would have been there
in-person for Mendy, too.
The disappointment of
missing this very special day
was eased with an introduc-
tion to the Zoom bris, bring-
ing them into the new realm
of connecting religious tradi-
tions with web-based video
conferencing.
The bris was planned
quickly. Until Mendy’
s birth,
only his mom was aware of
his gender.
“Our daughter-in-law
Emily knew for some time,
but our son Neil didn’
t want
to know,” Debbie said. “He
wanted to be surprised. I
couldn’
t believe that she kept
it secret for so long.”
Before the baby was born,
his parents discussed the pos-
sibility of a Zoom bris if they
had a boy, knowing it was the
only way to include others in
the milestone occasion.
“There really wasn’
t anoth-
er option, given that the shuls
were still closed at this time,”
Neil said. “We briefly dis-
cussed including friends and
people in our community, but
ultimately decided to make it
a more private Zoom event.”
FAMILY AFFAIR
The bris was held in the
family’
s home, with only
Neil, Emily, Mendy and his
siblings, Leah, 8; Davi, 6, and
Miriam, 4½, and a masked
mohel present. Debbie and
Howard were joined in their
computer’
s Zoom boxes
by Neil’
s brothers and sis-
ter-in law, Steven and Jamie
Silverman of Birmingham
and Jason Silverman of
Miami, along with Emily’
s
brother and sister, Zander
Kanefield of New York and
Lily Kanefield of Chicago.
Emily’
s parents, Jeff and
Renee Kanefield, who live
in the St. Louis area, had an
unusual vantage point for
the bris: neither in the home,
nor on Zoom. “They actu-
ally watched from outside,
through our front door,” Neil
said.
This was not mohel Gideon
Nitsun’
s first screen-shar-
ing bris. “His attitude didn’
t
appear to be altered by the
fact that this was broadcast
over Zoom,” Neil said. “Seems
like he had already become
somewhat desensitized to our
new reality.”
Not so for the family who
signed onto their computers
without much knowledge of
what would take place.
“In hindsight, I should have
been more thoughtful on
setting expectations for those
family members on Zoom,”
Neil said. “Since this was a
first for everyone, there was a
real sense of surrealism.
“Unfortunately, I didn’
t get
a chance to speak after the
bris. Had I sent a schedule
or agenda in advance, our
conversation following the
bris would potentially have
felt more natural to transi-
tion from casual chit chat to
a more formal speech,” Neil
said.
Have Mohel,
Will Zoom
Guests in fi
ve states virtually attend
newest family member’
s bris.
SHELLI LEIBMAN DORFMAN CONTRIBUTING WRITER
Jews in the D
Neil, Emily, Davi,
Miriam, Mendy and
Leah Silverman,
at Mendy’
s bris.