22 | JULY 2 • 2020 

W

hen Debbie and 
Howard Silverman 
learned of the 
birth of their new grandson 
in St. Louis on May 28, they 
knew his bris would not be 
anything like the Shabbat 
morning, synagogue ceremo-
ny and kiddush attended by 
hundreds of people for his 
now 6-year-old brother.
Not only would newborn 
Mendel Moshe’
s bris not take 
place in a crowded shul, but 
no matter where it occurred, 
the Silvermans would not be 
there — the baby was quar-
antined for 14 days after his 
birth due to the COVID-19 
pandemic.
The grandparents, who live 
in Waterford, had traveled to 
be with their son and daugh-
ter-in-law’
s family when 
each of their other children 
was born, and in “normal” 
times would have been there 
in-person for Mendy, too.
The disappointment of 
missing this very special day 
was eased with an introduc-
tion to the Zoom bris, bring-
ing them into the new realm 
of connecting religious tradi-
tions with web-based video 
conferencing.
The bris was planned 
quickly. Until Mendy’
s birth, 
only his mom was aware of 

his gender. 
“Our daughter-in-law 
Emily knew for some time, 
but our son Neil didn’
t want 
to know,” Debbie said. “He 
wanted to be surprised. I 
couldn’
t believe that she kept 
it secret for so long.” 
Before the baby was born, 
his parents discussed the pos-
sibility of a Zoom bris if they 
had a boy, knowing it was the 
only way to include others in 
the milestone occasion.
“There really wasn’
t anoth-
er option, given that the shuls 
were still closed at this time,” 
Neil said. “We briefly dis-
cussed including friends and 
people in our community, but 
ultimately decided to make it 
a more private Zoom event.”

FAMILY AFFAIR
The bris was held in the 
family’
s home, with only 
Neil, Emily, Mendy and his 
siblings, Leah, 8; Davi, 6, and 
Miriam, 4½, and a masked 
mohel present. Debbie and 
Howard were joined in their 
computer’
s Zoom boxes 
by Neil’
s brothers and sis-
ter-in law, Steven and Jamie 
Silverman of Birmingham 
and Jason Silverman of 
Miami, along with Emily’
s 
brother and sister, Zander 
Kanefield of New York and 

Lily Kanefield of Chicago. 
Emily’
s parents, Jeff and 
Renee Kanefield, who live 
in the St. Louis area, had an 
unusual vantage point for 
the bris: neither in the home, 
nor on Zoom. “They actu-
ally watched from outside, 
through our front door,” Neil 
said.
This was not mohel Gideon 
Nitsun’
s first screen-shar-
ing bris. “His attitude didn’
t 
appear to be altered by the 
fact that this was broadcast 
over Zoom,” Neil said. “Seems 
like he had already become 
somewhat desensitized to our 
new reality.” 
Not so for the family who 

signed onto their computers 
without much knowledge of 
what would take place.
“In hindsight, I should have 
been more thoughtful on 
setting expectations for those 
family members on Zoom,” 
Neil said. “Since this was a 
first for everyone, there was a 
real sense of surrealism. 
“Unfortunately, I didn’
t get 
a chance to speak after the 
bris. Had I sent a schedule 
or agenda in advance, our 
conversation following the 
bris would potentially have 
felt more natural to transi-
tion from casual chit chat to 
a more formal speech,” Neil 
said.

Have Mohel,
Will Zoom

Guests in fi
 ve states virtually attend 
newest family member’
s bris.

SHELLI LEIBMAN DORFMAN CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Jews in the D
Neil, Emily, Davi, 
Miriam, Mendy and 
Leah Silverman,
at Mendy’
s bris.

