D

alia Michaelson, 18, 
and her family felt 
especially proud of her 
graduation from Berkley High 
School.
“It’
s a big deal that I graduat-
ed,
” she said. “There was a time 
last year where we thought that 
I was going to need to be sent 
away. We didn’
t think I would 
be able to finish junior year.
”
Michaelson refused to go to 
school during her junior year. 
Most mornings she wouldn’
t get 
up. If she did make the drive to 
school, she’
d circle the block in 
tears. Some days she drove the 
loop for an hour. Other days 
she’
d drive home after just a few 
minutes. 
“I felt really overwhelmed by 
the expectations that I put on 
myself,
” Michaelson said. “It felt 
easier to not go than to go and 
fail. We thought it was just me 
not wanting to get a bad grade, 
but it was a lot deeper than 
that.
”
Michaelson said she has 
always been a perfectionist, and 
she began to fear failure when 
she started high school. She 
often felt scared and anxious 
during her freshman and soph-
omore years, but Michaelson 

had her first panic attack as a 
junior. She also had a difficult 
time opening up to family and 
friends.
“No one knew what was 
going on except for me, and 
even I didn’
t completely under-
stand it,
” she added.
One morning, Michaelson 
hit her lowest point. While her 
mother dropped her brother 
off at school, Michaelson sat 
on the toilet trying to make 

herself throw up to avoid going 
to school. She was bawling in 
the bathroom when her mother 
came back.
“I didn’
t want to keep going 
anymore,
” Michaelson said. 
“If she didn’
t walk in the door 
when she did, I don’
t really 

know what would have hap-
pened. That was my turning 
point.
”
Michaelson revealed her 
thoughts and feelings to her 
parents. They acted immediate-
ly. Michaelson saw a therapist 
the same day and a psychiatrist 
shortly after. She was diagnosed 
with anxiety and depression. 
With medication and therapy, 
Michaelson quickly started 
improving.

“
As soon as I started talking 
it out with someone, that really 
helped,
” she added. “It made me 
feel like myself.
”
Michaelson found more sup-
port at school. She reconnected 
with her friends and set up a 
meeting with her counselor. She 

told Michaelson to come direct-
ly to her office whenever she 
felt anxious so she would stay in 
school.
“I don’
t think people realize 
what an ally a school coun-
selor can be,
” Michaelson 
said. “Whatever you are going 
through they have seen before 
and know how to help. I would 
not have made it through the 
year without mine.
”
Michaelson further improved 
when she got involved with 
UMatter, a program focused 
on empowering teens to shatter 
the stigmas surrounding mental 
health challenges and suicide. 
Michaelson was inspired by her 
friend Lauren Schostak when 
she shared her experience with 
mental illness at the 2019 One 
Thing I Wish You Knew event. 
“I couldn’
t stop thinking 
about how many people in that 
room she helped by doing that,
” 
Michaelson said. “I realized how 
big of an impact it can have.
”
She was inspired to join the 
UMatter Teen Board, which 
plans events and social media 
campaigns. 
“The way I felt helping people 
through UMatter made me real-
ize that this is what I want to do 
in my future career,
” she added.
Michaelson will be attending 
the University of Virginia in 
the fall to study nursing and 
become a psychiatric nurse 
practitioner. After refusing to 
attend school, Michaelson has 
come to appreciate it.
“It was crazy to think about 
how bad things were based on 
how good things are now,
” she 
said. “It helped me reflect and 
realize how much I appreciate 
school. I will miss it.
” 

This is the third in a four-part series 
profiling teens who have triumphed 
over mental illness challenges.

As soon as I started talking it out
with someone, that really helped. 
It made me feel like myself.

— DALIA MICHAELSON

30 | JUNE 11 • 2020 

Jews in the D

Overcoming 
Fear of Failure

New grad appreciates 
how far she’
s come 
battling depression 
and anxiety.

JENNA ANDERSON CONTRIBUTING WRITER

COURTESY OF DALIA MICHAELSON

