 MAY 7 • 2020 | 21

or respond to anyone, and she 
wasn’
t able to ward off current 
abusers.
“I couldn’
t say what length of 
time a quarantine is because it 
always got unlocked when I gave 
it push back,
” she says. But when 
her accounts were reinstated 
after she sent emails, she’
d lost all 
her history, she says, along with 
any documentation of harass-
ment. 
The majority of people don’
t 
realize this is happening,
” James 
says. “That’
s why I want to 
expose it.
” A lot of men do sup-
port her activism, she says, but 
others don’
t think online abuse 
toward women is a real problem.
“It’
s going to take national 
news and millions of women on 
board,
” she says. In regard to the 
AWOL movement, she’
s hoping 
something will come of it but 
says, “I don’
t think the guys will 

notice. They’
ll just go after prey 
that’
s available.
”
“Going after” women through 
cyberflashing in particular 
causes harm that’
s highly under-
stated, says Alexandra Deans, 
a third-year sociology student 
at the University of Glasgow in 
Scotland. “People don’
t under-
stand that it’
s actually quite trau-
matic.
”
“If someone was to flash me in 
real life, they’
d be charged with a 
crime,
” she says. “But if that hap-
pens in a private message online, 
there’
s no protection there for 
women.
” 
Yet, some states are taking 
action. Texas deemed cyber-
flashing illegal last fall, resulting 
in a fine of up to $500. A sim-
ilar bill has been proposed in 
California.
Deans says her “morbid inter-
est” in cyber dating comes from 

meeting her husband on Tinder. 
She writes academically about 
topics like toxic masculinity and 
the absence of online safety laws 
for women. But, she says her 
experience six years ago differed 
greatly from what her friends go 
through on dating apps now. 
“I’
m blown away from the 
kind of responses they receive 
from men,
” she says. “With the 
younger generation, where dat-
ing apps are now becoming the 
new norm of meeting people, 
I’
m scared they’
ll think this is 
how dating interaction should 
be.
“That’
s why Sarey’
s move-
ment is so important,
” she says, 
explaining that a friend brought 
it to her attention a year ago. “It 
says, ‘
No, this is not right. There 
needs to be systemic change, and 
legal change, to support women.
“It’
s also really important just 

for women to come together 
across the world, to under-
stand this is not just something 
that happens in America or 
Scotland,
” she says. 
If Ruden doesn’
t have the 
backing to create legal change 
just yet, Deans says she hopes 
Ruden will continue to organize, 
and that the movement will “get 
bigger and bigger every time.
”
“They won’
t pay attention 
until they have to,
” Ruden says. 
“But this idea is something 
that’
s really important. Sareytales 
is me personally — it’
s my art, 
it’
s my brand. (The AWOL 
movement) is something that’
s 
just happening through me; it’
s 
something much more univer-
sal.
” 
This culture has to stop, she 
says. “Dating platforms aren’
t 
selling love or even dating …
they’
re selling women.
” 

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