Each month, the JN will let you know the
stories that were read most often online. If
you missed any, go to the jewishnews.com
and search for them by title. Here’
s what
was most popular in March.
ON THE WEB
1. Coronavirus: ‘
No Reason to Go to an
Emergency Room,’
ER Doctor Advises
2. Gay and Jewish Jokes (from 2018)
3. Oakland County Creates Interactive Map of
COVID-19 Cases by ZIP Code
4. Michigan’
s First Jewish COVID-19 Death
5. Joe Cornell’
s Legacy: ‘
He Was Everybody’
s
Uncle’
6. Detroit Native Opens Vegan Deli
7. Rare Heart Condition Almost Costs 35-Year-
Old Her Life
8. Local Jewish Teen Develops Community
COVID-19 Volunteer Platform
9. Hillel Day School Teacher Tests Positive for
Coronavirus
10. Teen Creates ‘
Mediumize,’
A Platform to
Help Most Vulnerable During COVID-19
TOP 5 ON FACEBOOK:
1. Detroit Native Opens Vegan Deli
2. Coronavirus: ‘
No Reason to Go to an
Emergency Room,’
ER Doctor Advises
3. Jewish Federation Delivers Fresh, Healthy
Meals to Seniors in Need
4. Kippah Masks You Can Make at Home During
COVID-19
5. JCC Temporarily Lays Off 95% of its Staff Due
to COVID-19
TOP 5 ON INSTAGRAM:
1. Bloomfield Hills Brothers Raise Thousands of
Dollars to Feed ‘
Heroes At Hospitals’
2. Young Jews Making Moves — Jack Harris
3. From Huntington Woods to L.A. — Actress
Jessy Hodges
4. The Story Behind That Yarmulke-Wearing
Llama at the Wedding
5. Yad Ezra Stockpiles Food to Prepare f
or
Coronavirus Increase
CORRECTION
In “Time to be Counted” (April 9,
page 10) the names of the Russian-
English speakers interviewed are
Valentina Tsaregorodseva and Paulina
Novokshchenova.
APRIL 23 • 2020 | 5
Views
for openers
The Eff
ects of Social Distance
H
ow are you coping with this social
isolation?
Let me guess: For introverts
everywhere — heaven, loving it! For newly
homeschooling parents — it’
s a nightmare,
when’
s bedtime already? For
married couples — why is he
breathing so loudly? Bet it’
s
just to get on my nerves.
This situation is horrific
and often heartbreaking. But
there’
s this habit some have
of poking fun at difficult
situations, which in a way
can alleviate some of the magnitude of
what we’
re experiencing. As if looking at it
through irreverent eyes can somehow dim
the ferocity of the terrifying thing we’
re
dealing with.
I suspect that’
s why there are millions of
memes floating around about how we’
re
doing the hard job of staying at home, try-
ing to get along with those we love the most
(or have the displeasure of living together
with, depending on how you view it at that
given moment …) How we have all the
time in the world on our hands now but
still aren’
t doing those things we promised
we’
d do when we had the time.
Some folks have come up with hilarious
musical parodies. My favorites are “Social
Distance” by Randy Rainbow and the guy
who sings about the “super bad transmit-
table contagious awful virus” to the tune of
“Supercalafragilisticexpialidocious” from
Mary Poppins. If you haven’
t seen them, I
recommend looking them up — always fun
to see how creative and clever people get!
Have you discovered anything new about
yourself during this isolation? I’
ve definitely
tapped into my inner hypochondriac. Every
time I feel a tickle in my throat I think,
“Is that coronavirus?” It takes me a while
to remember that it probably has more to
do with the fact that all my kids are home,
Alexa’
s blaring music, there are three devices
dinging and singing, and I have to yell to get
myself heard …
Likewise, whenever I walk up the stairs
and feel short of breath, for a heart-stopping
moment I think, “Is that coronavirus?” Until
I remember that it happens all the time and
probably has more to do with being over-
weight than corona.
The food situation is mindboggling.
When the order about social distancing was
first declared, what did we do? Rush to the
grocery store with the rest of the city, jostling
for the last of the pastas, grabbing up as
much wine as we could carry, trying to stock
up for the foreseeable future. How long did
your “stock” last? My family’
s never eaten
more in our lives! My three-week supply of
chocolate disappeared in four days! Maybe
because there’
s just not that much to do at
home … besides eat. As one meme said, “I’
m
considering putting a mezuzah on the fridge
— because it’
s the only door I still open!’
When this is all over, we’
re going to be
coming out of quarantine with facial hair
that will need a lawnmower to get it under
control and a few pounds heavier. The quar-
antine 15, one friend called it. More like
COVID–19, another suggested.
Nothing lasts forever, and this situation —
like everything — is only temporary and will
eventually come to an end. When? How? No
idea. In the meantime, it’
s our attitude that’
s
gonna keep us sane. Whether you consider
it a golden opportunity or quite the opposite
(“Purhell”?), one day it will be considered
history and you’
ll be telling your children/
grandchildren/anyone who’
ll listen about
those days you stayed inside and did your
virtuous bit to flatten the curve of corona-
virus spread… Quite the opposite for your
waist.
Rochel
Burstyn
most read on the web