Each month, the JN will let you know the 
stories that were read most often online. If 
you missed any, go to the jewishnews.com 
and search for them by title. Here’
s what 
was most popular in March.

ON THE WEB 
1. Coronavirus: ‘
No Reason to Go to an 
Emergency Room,’
 ER Doctor Advises
2. Gay and Jewish Jokes (from 2018)
3. Oakland County Creates Interactive Map of 
COVID-19 Cases by ZIP Code
4. Michigan’
s First Jewish COVID-19 Death

5. Joe Cornell’
s Legacy: ‘
He Was Everybody’
s 
Uncle’
6. Detroit Native Opens Vegan Deli
7. Rare Heart Condition Almost Costs 35-Year-
Old Her Life
8. Local Jewish Teen Develops Community 
COVID-19 Volunteer Platform
9. Hillel Day School Teacher Tests Positive for 
Coronavirus
10. Teen Creates ‘
Mediumize,’
 A Platform to 
Help Most Vulnerable During COVID-19

TOP 5 ON FACEBOOK:
1. Detroit Native Opens Vegan Deli
2. Coronavirus: ‘
No Reason to Go to an 
Emergency Room,’
 ER Doctor Advises
3. Jewish Federation Delivers Fresh, Healthy 
Meals to Seniors in Need
4. Kippah Masks You Can Make at Home During 
COVID-19

5. JCC Temporarily Lays Off 95% of its Staff Due 
to COVID-19

TOP 5 ON INSTAGRAM:
1. Bloomfield Hills Brothers Raise Thousands of 
Dollars to Feed ‘
Heroes At Hospitals’
2. Young Jews Making Moves — Jack Harris
3. From Huntington Woods to L.A. — Actress 
Jessy Hodges
4. The Story Behind That Yarmulke-Wearing 
Llama at the Wedding
5. Yad Ezra Stockpiles Food to Prepare f 
or 
Coronavirus Increase

CORRECTION 
In “Time to be Counted” (April 9, 
page 10) the names of the Russian-
English speakers interviewed are 
Valentina Tsaregorodseva and Paulina 
Novokshchenova.

 APRIL 23 • 2020 | 5

Views

for openers
The Eff
 ects of Social Distance
H

ow are you coping with this social 
isolation?
Let me guess: For introverts 
everywhere — heaven, loving it! For newly 
homeschooling parents — it’
s a nightmare, 
when’
s bedtime already? For 
married couples — why is he 
breathing so loudly? Bet it’
s 
just to get on my nerves.
This situation is horrific 
and often heartbreaking. But 
there’
s this habit some have 
of poking fun at difficult 
situations, which in a way 
can alleviate some of the magnitude of 
what we’
re experiencing. As if looking at it 
through irreverent eyes can somehow dim 
the ferocity of the terrifying thing we’
re 
dealing with. 
I suspect that’
s why there are millions of 
memes floating around about how we’
re 
doing the hard job of staying at home, try-
ing to get along with those we love the most 
(or have the displeasure of living together 
with, depending on how you view it at that 
given moment …) How we have all the 
time in the world on our hands now but 
still aren’
t doing those things we promised 
we’
d do when we had the time. 

Some folks have come up with hilarious 
musical parodies. My favorites are “Social 
Distance” by Randy Rainbow and the guy 
who sings about the “super bad transmit-
table contagious awful virus” to the tune of 
“Supercalafragilisticexpialidocious” from 
Mary Poppins. If you haven’
t seen them, I 
recommend looking them up — always fun 
to see how creative and clever people get!
Have you discovered anything new about 
yourself during this isolation? I’
ve definitely 
tapped into my inner hypochondriac. Every 
time I feel a tickle in my throat I think, 
“Is that coronavirus?” It takes me a while 
to remember that it probably has more to 
do with the fact that all my kids are home, 
Alexa’
s blaring music, there are three devices 
dinging and singing, and I have to yell to get 
myself heard … 
Likewise, whenever I walk up the stairs 
and feel short of breath, for a heart-stopping 
moment I think, “Is that coronavirus?” Until 
I remember that it happens all the time and 
probably has more to do with being over-
weight than corona. 
The food situation is mindboggling. 
When the order about social distancing was 
first declared, what did we do? Rush to the 
grocery store with the rest of the city, jostling 

for the last of the pastas, grabbing up as 
much wine as we could carry, trying to stock 
up for the foreseeable future. How long did 
your “stock” last? My family’
s never eaten 
more in our lives! My three-week supply of 
chocolate disappeared in four days! Maybe 
because there’
s just not that much to do at 
home … besides eat. As one meme said, “I’
m 
considering putting a mezuzah on the fridge 
— because it’
s the only door I still open!’
 
When this is all over, we’
re going to be 
coming out of quarantine with facial hair 
that will need a lawnmower to get it under 
control and a few pounds heavier. The quar-
antine 15, one friend called it. More like 
COVID–19, another suggested. 
Nothing lasts forever, and this situation — 
like everything — is only temporary and will 
eventually come to an end. When? How? No 
idea. In the meantime, it’
s our attitude that’
s 
gonna keep us sane. Whether you consider 
it a golden opportunity or quite the opposite 
(“Purhell”?), one day it will be considered 
history and you’
ll be telling your children/
grandchildren/anyone who’
ll listen about 
those days you stayed inside and did your 
virtuous bit to flatten the curve of corona-
virus spread… Quite the opposite for your 
waist. 

Rochel 
Burstyn

most read on the web

