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Horwitz ahorwitz@renmedia.us Partner: F. Kevin Browett kbrowett@renmedia.us Partner: Michael H. Steinhardt How to reach us see page 10 essay High Anxiety I asked a friend of mine how he was holding up with all the scary things going on in the world these days. He said he has “good news and bad news.” “How so?” I asked. “The good news” he said, “is that I don’ t have the coronavirus. The bad news is that my 401(k) is now a 201(k).” I smiled and walked away and didn’ t know whether to laugh or cry. But that’ s exactly the kind of gallows humor we hear all the time during these worrisome times. We are offi- cially in a global pandemic. We can wash our hands all day and do everything else we’ re supposed to do, but the scary headlines just keep coming and coming, and we have no con- trol over that. But we can choose how we’ re going to react to the constant news about the virus. We can decide whether to be dismissive or nonchalant about it (we all know people like that, right?) or we can fall into a deep, dark despair (I know those folks, too). Or we can work hard — extra hard for me, I confess — to get control of our attitude and do our best to calm our nerves. That would be a sensi- ble and logical plan, although frankly I’ m not sure it’ s going so well for me. I’ m a news junkie, which is hardly the best medicine for calming one’ s nerves these days. Let’ s be honest, it’ s just so damn easy to get frightened, and the 24/7 news cycle can drive a sane person crazy. But still, I, like so many others, pay close attention to the news. I have also over the years assem- bled a collection of quotes that I find meaningful, from the silly to the profound. One of them, from jazz artist Miles Davis, is eerily reminiscent of the reaction to this virus: “If you ain’ t nervous, you ain’ t pay- ing attention.” But I just have to stop pay- ing such close attention. My religious friends — Jewish and Christian — try to calm me down by referring me to scriptures about dealing with anxiety. King Solomon wrote in Proverbs that “anxiety in the heart of a person causes dejection, but a good word will turn it into joy.” A couple of my Christian buddies, both Baptist pastors, instruct me that Isaiah offers a succinct guide for dealing with fear: “Do not be afraid, for I am with you always.” Those passages, and many others, are beautiful and inspi- rational. I’ m from Oak Park, so who am I to argue with King Solomon and Isaiah? But I’ m also very much a child of modern Jewish culture, and the stereotype of the nervous, anxiety-ridden, nebbish-y Jew has been drilled into my head for as long as I can remember. Every time I wonder if I’ m getting sick (like every day in the past several weeks), I can’ t help but recall the words of that great Jewish sage, Woody Allen, who, although not pos- sessing the wisdom of King Solomon, was nevertheless a lot funnier. “I’ m not a hypochon- driac,” Woody the Wise Man used to say, “I’ m a Jew.” The examples of Jews con- sumed with high-anxiety humor abound throughout American culture, from lit- erature to film and especially among so many of the coun- try’ s greatest comedians. Jokes about Jews being nervous wrecks are legendary. (“I’ m tired and thirsty,” says the Jew. “I must have diabetes.”) Lenny Bruce, Joan Rivers, Mel Brooks, Jackie Mason, Woody Allen, Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David and countless others have indeli- bly etched this image into our psyches (it was Mel Brooks, after all, who gave us the classic film High Anxiety). Mark Jacobs continued on page 10 005_DJN032620_POV Opinion Pages.indd 8 005_DJN032620_POV Opinion Pages.indd 8 3/23/20 10:29 AM 3/23/20 10:29 AM