Views
To make a donation to the
DETROIT JEWISH NEWS FOUNDATION
go to the website
www.djnfoundation.org
The Detroit Jewish News (USPS 275-520) is published every Thursday at
29200 Northwestern Highway, #110, Southfield, Michigan. Periodical postage paid at
Southfield, Michigan, and additional mailing offices. Postmaster: send changes to:
Detroit Jewish News, 29200 Northwestern Hwy., #110, Southfield, MI 48034.
8 | MARCH 26 • 2020
1942 - 2020
Covering and Connecting
Jewish Detroit Every Week
jn
Arthur M. Horwitz
Publisher
ahorwitz@renmedia.us
F. Kevin Browett
Chief Operating Officer
kbrowett@renmedia.us
| Editorial
Editor: Andrew Lapin
alapin@thejewishnews.com
Associate Editor: Jackie Headapohl
jheadapohl@renmedia.us
Story Development Editor:
Keri Guten Cohen
kcohen@renmedia.us
Digital Editor: Allison Jacobs
ajacobs@renmedia.us
Multimedia Reporter: Corrie Colf
ccolf@renmedia.us
Editorial Assistant: Sy Manello
smanello@renmedia.us
Senior Columnist: Danny Raskin
dannyraskin2132@gmail.com
Contributing Editor: Robert Sklar
rsklar@renmedia.us
Contributing Editor: David Sachs
Contributing Arts Editor: Gail Zimmerman
gzimmerman@renmedia.us
Contributing Writers:
Nate Bloom, Rochel Burstyn, Suzanne
Chessler, Annabel Cohen, Shellie
Liebman Dorfman, Maya Goldman,
Ronelle Grier, Esther Allweiss Ingber,
Mark Jacobs, Elizabeth Katz, Jen Lovy,
Robin Schwartz, Mike Smith
Advertising Sales
Vice President of Sales and
Business Development: Carol Kruemmer
ckruemmer@renmedia.us
Senior Account Executive: Keith Farber
kfarber@renmedia.us
Account Executives:
Kelsey Cocke, Catherine Grace,
Annette Kizy, Kathy Harvey-Mitton,
Andrea O’
Banion
| Business Office
Operations Manager: Andrea Gusho
agusho@renmedia.us
Operations Assistant / Event Coordinator:
Ashlee Szabo
Circulation: Danielle Smith
Billing Coordinator: Pamela Turner
| Production By
Farago & Associates
Manager: Scott Drzewiecki
Designers: Jessica Joannides,
Kelly Kosek, Michelle Sheridan
| Detroit Jewish News
Partner:
Arthur M. Horwitz
ahorwitz@renmedia.us
Partner:
F. Kevin Browett
kbrowett@renmedia.us
Partner:
Michael H. Steinhardt
How to reach us see page 10
essay
High Anxiety
I
asked a friend of mine how
he was holding up with all
the scary things going on
in the world these days. He
said he has “good
news and bad
news.”
“How so?” I
asked.
“The good
news” he said, “is
that I don’
t have
the coronavirus.
The bad news is that my 401(k)
is now a 201(k).”
I smiled and walked away
and didn’
t know whether to
laugh or cry. But that’
s exactly
the kind of gallows humor we
hear all the time during these
worrisome times. We are offi-
cially in a global pandemic.
We can wash our hands all day
and do everything else we’
re
supposed to do, but the scary
headlines just keep coming and
coming, and we have no con-
trol over that.
But we can choose how we’
re
going to react to the constant
news about the virus. We can
decide whether to be dismissive
or nonchalant about it (we all
know people like that, right?)
or we can fall into a deep, dark
despair (I know those folks,
too). Or we can work hard —
extra hard for me, I confess
— to get control of our attitude
and do our best to calm our
nerves. That would be a sensi-
ble and logical plan, although
frankly I’
m not sure it’
s going
so well for me.
I’
m a news junkie, which is
hardly the best medicine for
calming one’
s nerves these
days. Let’
s be honest, it’
s just so
damn easy to get frightened,
and the 24/7 news cycle can
drive a sane person crazy. But
still, I, like so many others, pay
close attention to the news. I
have also over the years assem-
bled a collection of quotes that
I find meaningful, from the
silly to the profound. One of
them, from jazz artist Miles
Davis, is eerily reminiscent of
the reaction to this virus: “If
you ain’
t nervous, you ain’
t pay-
ing attention.”
But I just have to stop pay-
ing such close attention. My
religious friends — Jewish
and Christian — try to calm
me down by referring me to
scriptures about dealing with
anxiety. King Solomon wrote
in Proverbs that “anxiety in
the heart of a person causes
dejection, but a good word
will turn it into joy.” A couple
of my Christian buddies, both
Baptist pastors, instruct me that
Isaiah offers a succinct guide
for dealing with fear: “Do not
be afraid, for I am with you
always.”
Those passages, and many
others, are beautiful and inspi-
rational. I’
m from Oak Park,
so who am I to argue with
King Solomon and Isaiah? But
I’
m also very much a child of
modern Jewish culture, and
the stereotype of the nervous,
anxiety-ridden, nebbish-y Jew
has been drilled into my head
for as long as I can remember.
Every time I wonder if I’
m
getting sick (like every day in
the past several weeks), I can’
t
help but recall the words of
that great Jewish sage, Woody
Allen, who, although not pos-
sessing the wisdom of King
Solomon, was nevertheless a lot
funnier. “I’
m not a hypochon-
driac,” Woody the Wise Man
used to say, “I’
m a Jew.”
The examples of Jews con-
sumed with high-anxiety
humor abound throughout
American culture, from lit-
erature to film and especially
among so many of the coun-
try’
s greatest comedians. Jokes
about Jews being nervous
wrecks are legendary. (“I’
m
tired and thirsty,” says the Jew.
“I must have diabetes.”) Lenny
Bruce, Joan Rivers, Mel Brooks,
Jackie Mason, Woody Allen,
Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David and
countless others have indeli-
bly etched this image into our
psyches (it was Mel Brooks,
after all, who gave us the classic
film High Anxiety).
Mark Jacobs
continued on page 10
005_DJN032620_POV Opinion Pages.indd 8
005_DJN032620_POV Opinion Pages.indd 8
3/23/20 10:29 AM
3/23/20 10:29 AM