MARCH 26 • 2020 | 5
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for starters
Marooned with Tons of TP
guest column
Snowbirds Count in Michigan
W
hen someone asks
you, “What three
items would you
want with you if you were
stranded on a desert island?”
what do you
usually answer?
Typical answers
are a Kindle (all
that time to read),
a phone (so you
can call for help),
chocolate (essen-
tial survival food). But did toilet
paper ever make it high on your
list? Presumably you’
d have some
leaves at your disposal! Leaves
too prickly? Wash off in the
ocean.
Move over, desert islands.
Now the question is, “If you
were stranded in your house for
an extended social distancing
quarantine, what items would
you want with you?” And the
unanimous answer echoing
around the world has clearly
been: A lifetime supply of toilet
paper.
Billions of rolls have been
snapped up; people are wor-
ried they don’
t have enough.
And it’
s happening all over! In
Hong Kong, an armed gang
stole 600 rolls of toilet paper. An
Australian newspaper printed
an issue with eight extra blank
“one-ply” pages, you know, just
in case their readers were really
desperate.
How did the coronavirus
cause a TP shortage? As Dr.
Steven Taylor, a professor, clin-
ical psychologist and author of
The Psychology of Pandemics,
said, it doesn’
t seem very logical:
“Why toilet paper? It’
s not gonna
stop you from getting infected!”
He explained, “When you’
re
presented with a pandemic, a
big new, scary thing, and the
government is telling us that we
don’
t need to do anything special
to deal with it — just wash your
hands and so on — people feel
the need to do something to
prepare. So people are stocking
up as a way of preparing them-
selves. When people do that, it’
s
inevitable that some people are
going to over-shop.
”
Fear is just as contagious as
the coronavirus, if not more so.
In fact, Taylor said if you ask
most shoppers leaving grocery
stores with mountains of toilet
paper why they bought so much,
many say things like, “I don’
t
know; everyone else was.
”
Which is why if you see some
panic-stricken people grabbing
up all the toilet paper, you’
re
more likely to feel anxious and
start doing the same, causing
even more people to run
panic-stricken to the toilet paper
aisle to stock up, too … Before
we know it, the store shelves
are completely empty, there’
s a
nationwide shortage and that
dilapidated old house that was
TP’
d is listed on Zillow for $12.5
million!
That age-old getting-to-
know-you question has actually
materialized: What items would
you bring to a desert island?
Only now your desert island is
your home, and your family’
s
marooned along with you. We
have literally all the comforts of
home: toilet paper, WiFi, run-
ning water, electricity. Yup, we’
re
holed up for some time. It’
s not
easy. But we’
re all in the same
boat.
Try to enjoy your family
(always easier said than done
when in you’
re in tight quar-
ters with Those Who Annoy
You Most). Watch movies. Play
games. Do yardwork. Read.
Mend things around the house.
Prepare for Pesach (it’
s still com-
ing, corona pandemic or not!)
Call a friend you haven’
t spoken
to in ages. Call senior friends.
Do yoga. Cook. Color. Dance.
Sing. Write letters.
Time will pass quickly. In the
meantime, let’
s make the best of
it.
Rochel
Burstyn
H
i, there, all you snow-
birds! If you are a
Michigan resident who
is away for the season — or less
than six months
— this is for you.
The 2020
Census is coming.
You should be
getting a piece
of mail from the
Census Bureau
any day now, if it hasn’
t arrived
already. The Census is used to
decide how many members of
Congress go to each state — a
process called reapportion-
ment. It’
s also used to form
the Congressional districts,
legislative districts and county
commissioner districts within
Michigan — a process called
redistricting.
Census results are also used
in calculating the distribution
of more than $675 billion in
federal funding. It’
s critical that
Michigan get its fair share of
that funding pot. That means
we need everyone who resides
in Michigan to be counted
in Michigan. If you live in
Michigan for at least six months
a year, you’
re a Michigan resi-
dent. Make sure you get includ-
ed in the Census that way.
How can you do that? This
month, you will receive mail-
ings with instructions for how
to participate in the Census
online. You can use a comput-
er, a tablet or your phone to
do that. You’
ll get a mailing at
your home address and likely at
your seasonal address, as well
(if it’
s in the U.S.). Each of these
mailings will include a 12-digit
Census ID code. When you go
Patricia C.
Becker
continued on page 6
Be sure to fi
ll out the U.S. Census with your Michigan residence.
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