14 | MARCH 26 • 2020 

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family turned their phones back on, they 
were flooded with messages of support and 
congratulations from friends and family 
who had watched the livestream. 
“It was a very happy, proud, emotional 
moment when it was all over with,
” she said. 
“I said, ‘
Brooke, this will go down in history.
’
”
The family plans to throw a party for 
Brooke on either June 12 or Sept. 25, 
depending on when large gatherings 
become safe again. 

Similarly, Jen Friedman’
s son, Jacob, also 
had his bar mitzvah last weekend. Friedman, 
who lives in Huntington Woods, began to 
realize it was going to look different than 
originally planned when friends and relatives 
from out of state began to feel unsafe travel-
ing. Some even started to self-quarantine. 
Then her synagogue, Congregation 
Shaarey Zedek in Southfield, closed. 
Eventually it was decided the bar mitzvah 
service could continue in person, but only 
Friedman’
s immediate family would attend. 
The service was live-streamed so relatives 
and friends could share in the simchah.
Friedman said her son took the whole 
situation in stride and helped to make hard 
choices, like whether to postpone his party. 
“It was hard when I had to say, ‘
Look, your 

cousins aren’
t coming in from Miami’
 — he 
was really disappointed … but he’
s a rational 
kid,
” she said. “We talked about having to 
make hard choices in life and being grateful 
for what we do have and not what’
s being 
taken away from us.
” 
It’
s not just b’
nai mitzvahs being affected by 
COVID-19. With synagogues closing in-per-
son operations and large gatherings being 
discouraged — and now temporarily banned 
in Michigan — weddings are also in limbo. 
Heidi Budaj has been helping to plan the 
wedding of her daughter, Marcy Fischgrund, 
scheduled for April 18 in Chicago. When 
Budaj talked to the JN on March 12, she 
was still planning to hold the wedding, even 
if it had to be a limited celebration or live-
streamed to guests who couldn’
t make it. 
But by March 17, Budaj’
s daughter and her 
fiancé made the difficult decision to postpone 
their wedding. 
“
As the world changes daily, our wedding 
plans seem to change hourly,
” Budaj told the 
JN last week. “
Currently, the plan is for Marcy 
and Scott to have a small, intimate wedding 
with immediate family once it is safe to do so. 
We have no idea when that will be. We have 
reserved Friday, Oct. 2, to have a reception/
party at the original location in Chicago.
”

Her son, Mark Fischgrund, and Meredith 
Zale have a wedding planned Aug. 29 in 
Aspen. Budaj says they are moving forward 
with those plans. 

SYNAGOGUES FIND WAYS TO HELP
At Temple Israel, all in-person activities have 
stopped through at least April 19. Rabbi Jen 
Lader told the JN that on March 12, she had 
to call a couple having a 350-person wed-
ding that Saturday and tell them she couldn’
t 
officiate. She said the synagogue was ner-
vous about how people would react to their 
reduced operations, but the community has 
been more than understanding. 
“Every single person we’
ve spoken to has 
been understanding and wonderful,
” she said. 
“Everybody understands this is not business 
as usual, that we’
re not canceling lifecycle 
events to punish them or to be mean.
“These things, we’
re doing because we feel 
we have a moral obligation. As Jews, koach 
nefesh, to save a life, is the most important 
thing any of us can do during our lifetime.
”
Although it hasn’
t been easy for syna-
gogues in Metro Detroit to cancel and post-
pone lifecycle events, it has allowed them to 
find creative ways to help. At Congregation 
Beth Ahm in West Bloomfield, catered meals 

LEFT: Jacob Friedman, right, with his brother, Max, left, on the bimah with Assistant Cantor Leonard Gutman during his bar mitzvah service at Shaarey Zedek, which was 
attended only by immediate family because of the coronavirus. RIGHT: Heidi Budaj says she’
s received positive responses from more than 220 people to come to her 
daughter’
s wedding in Chicago. The simchah was set for April 18 but was canceled last week. 

FRIEDMAN FAMILY

JEFF BUDAJ

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