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essay
Turning 65 and Still Searching for Wisdom
A

ge is just a state of mind, at least 
that’
s what Hallmark likes to tell 
us. I’
ve always hated that expres-
sion but have been willing to go along 
with it for the past 20 years or so. At 40, 
it kind of worked. At 50, it was clearly a 
fiction, but I clung to it, nonetheless. At 
65, however, it’
s a mythical pep talk, a 
silly saying that resembles reality about as 
much as the tooth fairy.
Sorry, but turning 65 
is different. It doesn’
t just 
feel old; it’
s officially, gov-
ernment-sanctioned old. 
It’
s Medicare-eligible old, 
the time to finally figure 
out the difference between 
Medicare Plan A and Plan 
B or to decide when to start collecting 
Social Security or what medical directives 
to give in the event of your mental inca-
pacitation. You know, fun stuff like that.
When you’
re in your mid-60s, the 
reminders of your senior status are every-
where. I was watching the American 
Music Awards and saw Taylor Swift 
being given the “Musician of the Decade” 
award. Of course, I know who Taylor 
Swift is, but I realized that I couldn’
t 
name a single one of her songs. Here she’
s 

supposedly the most influential musician 
of the whole decade and I don’
t even 
know her music. I used to be the guy 
who owned hundreds of albums, studied 
the pop charts and subscribed to Rolling 
Stone magazine. Now I’
m apparently so 
old that I missed an entire decade of pop-
ular music.
Admittedly, my music tastes aren’
t 
exactly contemporary. I’
m hopelessly 
stuck in the bygone era of the ’
60s and 
’
70s. If I’
m being honest, I’
m just starting 
to emerge from the ’
60s and into the ’
70s. 
(Led Zepplin and Queen, it turns out, 
were really good! I think they’
re going to 
be big). At this rate, I figure I’
ll discover 
Kelly Clarkston and Britney Spears when 
I turn about 100, which is fine by me.
I’
m learning just how tempting it is to 
lose our patience as we age. We finally 
give ourselves a license to do and say 
what we want, and that can be wonder-
fully liberating. But it’
s also easy — too 
easy — to become a grumpy old person. I 
know I have to tolerate people who annoy 
me, but sometimes I really have to fight 
the urge to be unkind. 
I recently ordered an Uber and the 
comment section noted that the driv-
er was “a good conversationalist.” That 

instantly depressed me since I was in no 
mood for a conversation with anyone. 
But I didn’
t want to be the unfriend-
ly older guy, so when I met the chatty 
driver I smiled and, sure enough, within 
minutes I started hearing all about his 
recent dental surgery. I was captive to his 
agonizing tale of Novocain and bleeding 
gums. There was nothing good about the 
conversation, and I seriously considered 
quietly opening the rear door and rolling 
out onto the freeway. But I did learn to be 
more careful about who I smile at, which, 
of course, is the first step at full-blown 
old man grumpiness.
One thing I’
ve already learned about 
turning 65 is the amount of attention 
you suddenly get from people trying to 
sell you things. Each year, the 60 million 
people who are eligible for Medicare can 
purchase or modify their supplemental 
coverage, so be prepared to be inundated 
with salespeople who seem to come out 
of the woodwork. Their phone calls are 
constant, with all kinds of clever ways to 
scare you and grab their share of your 
wallet. I’
ve taken to avoiding all unrecog-
nizable incoming phone calls, something 
I should’
ve started doing years ago.
The AARP emails are also constant, 

Mark Jacobs

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